Short Story / Harvest of Sorrows (Analysis)

It has been raining for nearly three days, if the rain continues the crops will be ruined. Tsitsi worried all the time. She worried about her son, she worried about her husband and she worried about her neighbours her constant worry worried her husband. The sound of rain on the tin roof was soothing at first but now it was irritating her when will it stop? Her son was lying on the mat smiling in his sleep. Why would he worry Tsitsi did all the worrying?

It was November the rains where late. The rain seemed to compensate for that but now it had everyone worried. It was beginning to be difficult to do anything especially for Tsitsi. Her husband had gone to work in the mines of Egoli. These where hard times for everyone. He had made the journey thousands of other men had done  before him. He was not the only one. Tsitsi knew that it was not an easy decision to make. They had argued about his plan to leave the village   she had spent days crying and sulking and at one point she had left him but in the end Tsitsi had conceded because she knew  that while here they would have very little  and always struggle so the decision was made and he  joined the other young men who had left the village and had gone to Egoli.

It was hard without her husband, it was very lonely. She missed his smile , his laughter and the fact that he helped her with the house work. The other man ribbed him for it but he always knew what so say back so the jokes where now far and few . Tsitsi had married  Benjamin just after she had turned seventeen and that was three years ago. Benjamin was a serious man. He read books and he wrote a lot he did not  waste precious money buying the potent home brew from that that “Marriage wrecker” Mrs Mapoto. She was the bain of many wives and the cause of many fights in many homes. Benjamin was very unlike the village men he worked on his farm and if he was not on the farm he was at home with his wife reading with her and playing with their son. That was very unusual. The village women were always harassing Tsitsi asking her for her special “muti” because no one really understood their relationship and the village wives refused to believe her when she said she did did-not use any special medicines. Neither did she employ the services of a medicine man. She told Benjamin this and he just  shook his head and laughed.

Benjamin and Tsitsi  where both brought up by their grandparents, both where illegitimate and both had been a burden. The unwanted children who where a constant reminder of their respective parents past. All where glad when they married each other at last Tsitsi felt she had her own family instead of always being the poor relative.

Tsitsi looked around their home,Benjamin had sent her money and gifts the first month he had been gone . The money came with a letter explaining what needed to be done. She had to buy the tin roof,  buy furniture for the empty lounge, clothes for herself and their son and finally finish the building of their home which he had started before he left. He  had been gone nearly six months now and she missed him dearly . All this had been done and Tsitsi had added extra things and their once empty house now looked like a home . Benjamin had sent her too much money and she worried about loosing it, she was really forgetful and this worried her even more. She constantly checked her little hiding place to make sure the money was still there. It was.

Tsitsi  headed towards the door she needed to collect the fire wood and start cooking they’re evening meal. Thankfully she had remembered to store the fire wood in their granary so it was dry. She collected a pile and went to the kitchen and placed it near the wood stove. Another item bought with the money Benjamin had sent her. She went to get her son and he sat obediently on the sofa and looked at his mother and smiled He was the spitting image of his father and it nearly made her cry. She quickly looked away. She lighted the fire and placed a pot of water to boil. She cut the leafy greens skilfully. She cut up some tomatoes and onions and opened a tin of corned beef. The water boiled she prepared their sadza and  in two other separate pots she cooked the greens with a little maize oil and in another she fried the onions, then tomatoes with that cooked she added the corned beef, Tsitsi served the meal into separate plates and sat down and ate with her son. Eating was always communal and so was the food. The children all ate from two plates one with the sadza and the other with what ever the relish was that day. The same applied to adults, but Benjamin hated communal eating. In this house this house everyone had their own plate.

Egoli means ’ place of gold’. Egoli was where the gold mines of Southern Africa where. This was the place  where money  was made and lost. Egoli was where many young men went to make their fortune many did not but many did. Families where broken when husbands returned with “new wives” Foreigners who did not speak the local language. Many husbands did not return, swallowed  underground never to see the light of day again. Some husbands where alive but where lost souls.

With their meal finished Tsitsi cleaned up and sat to reply to the letter Benjamin had written to her. He spoke of things she had never heard of before and she wondered how he coped with all that. The letter was long she always wrote long letters because she did not want to leave anything out. In the morning she would wait for the bus that went to Egoli and with it the letter for Benjamin. For now the two of them listened to the man’s voice coming from the wireless. There was talk of unrest in the cities but the cities seemed so far away almost another world. Cities always seemed so restless,cities frightened her.

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stephanloy avatar General Stranger

May 30, 2008

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tisha avatar General Stranger

May 21, 2008

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shelerella avatar General Stranger

May 15, 2008

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shelerella reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I think you have a great writing style, and this was a good read. I don’t really think this works as a short story. There is no resolution at the end. You have a lot to work with here, and I think it could go a lot further than what you have. Perhaps into an entire novel? If you want it to remain a short story you will need to restructure it so that there is an ending. What happens to Tsitsi and her son? What happens to Benjamin in the mines?
You have a good story here I think, it just needs some fleshing out.
I don’t see much in the way of grammar or spelling errors except it’s “lit” not “lighted” the fire.
Keep writing!

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May 14, 2008

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May 14, 2008

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May 14, 2008

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May 14, 2008

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May 13, 2008

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May 13, 2008

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butterflyjen01 avatar General Stranger

May 13, 2008

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butterflyjen01 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I’m sorry I don’t like to give negative reviews, but my problem was that I did not get sucked in! I usually know within the first paragraph if I am going to like a story. You need to make the begining less blah.( sorry couldn’t find a better word to describe how it made me feel)Find something to catch our attention and keep us interested. If you do that I think you will have a good story. There is a lot of character development.

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Fiso

Age: 29
Loc: United Kingdom
Gen: F
Last Login: May 27
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