Poetry / Finally

I’ve been looking for magic most of my life.  Trying to see it in faces and feel it in touches but all it would leave me was empty. My life was a puzzle I’d struggled relentlessly to solve and questions would plague and poke me, wondering if I would ever find the missing part to my heart.  Then God led you into my life and instantly nothing became everything.  You brought me happiness by the arms full and then took my hand to lead me where there was even more.

You revealed the magic I had overlooked, the magic inside of me and my life that had been crushed and hidden.  I waited for disappointment with fists raised but no one came to challenge my own.  Instead, you lowered my hands tenderly and held them quietly with my heart; such beauty there in that silence.  Such wonder in your eyes and peace that slowed my mind and demanded attention.  Instead of chaotic loudness like music played backwards, I began to hear something in that stillness.  It was a new song.  A song filled with a promise.  A song so full I thought it might explode.  Then we began to dance and breathless, I let you lead.

With my head resting on your chest, the rhythm of your heart hypnotizes mine and we fall into synch.  I can finally close my eyes and drift into being small, being vulnerable, being me.   Your arms bring a warmth that goes through to my soul and your kiss reaches in past my resistance and pulls out feelings I never knew I was capable of.

You are the last puzzle piece that completes a picture more beautiful than anything I could ever write.  I knew in that moment, that what you have brought to my life far exceeds anything I could have ever anticipated.  You then take my hand and we stand side by side to face the future together when our song changes to a faint applause from heaven, thankful we finally got it right.

Reviews

January 28, 2006

Mosir1618

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
38	66.7% (6 votes)	30.7%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
22	M	United States	November 18

Mosir1618 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I love it! It’s excellent, especially for a free verse (which is a lot harder than people may think). You did a great job of expressing your love. The poem, just like the feelings described, is beautiful.

• add/view comments (1)

January 28, 2006

by annafreeman

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
19	100.0% (3 votes)	31.5%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
35	F	Smyrna, TN	January 11

Thank you very much.  It took me a month to write it because the emotions were so free in the beginning but on into the relationship, they became a little shaky on his end.  I had to keep most of them to myself, which caused me to have to rewrite it constantly.  Needless to say, it didn’t last, but that experience is one I will always remember.

You must login to the site or create an account in order to post a comment.

January 28, 2006

dolphinchick114

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
7	0.0% (0 votes)	20.0%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
21			January 28

dolphinchick114 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

I can feel the emotion flowing off the page, and i agree, the poetry section may not have been the best place to put it, i would have suggested short story, but that wouldn’t work. In any case, beautiful work, i loved how you sounded, how by reading this, you could feel the love behind it, the tension released from your life before and the ease you feel now. Although I would say a better title would be “Magic”, but it might be a little too cliche for a good title. Remember to always put this much emotion into your writing.

• add/view comments (0)

There are no comments on this review.

You must login to the site or create an account in order to post a comment.

Showing 1 - 2 of 2