Poetry / sepia (Analysis)

OK. I have reviewed you embarrassingly. If you don’t insult me, I’m drinking bleach under the sink.

nothing to be embarrassed about…thanks for the feedback…i have been away from urbis for a while…
focusing on music…
feel free to stop by there..
www.myspace.com/oldssleeper

thanks

if you notice, the subject that’s doing the begging, is the stream, not me…but i did know a girl once who said yes to everything, and it was very satisfying for like two weeks.

I have pretended Sepia was her name.
I know a tidbit about camera obscura and developing photographs in one’s clawfoot bathtub. Image and its reflection factor in, as does sepia. I have probably superimposed my own subconscious onto yours, which is also part of this process.
I’ll leave you alone now.

thanks…blow a monkey and like it..
i wasnt trying to impress anyone, or fake a poem, so again…suck the semen from the utters of many men..thanks.

if you can’t take honest criticism, perhaps you should reconsider posting it in a public forum.  if you want people to pat you on the back and tell you how good it is, show it to your family.  you asked me for a review, so i reviewed it.  the fact that i don’t think this is an effective poem is not my problem, it’s the poet’s.

poetry is subjective, and your criticism sucked not for its negativity, but for its complete idiocy “uhhh…you re trying to be a poet” ...what the fuck? find something concrete to criticize instead of putting your template over me…make a movie of yourself jerking off a goat, and then the world will know what you really are.

poetry is subjective, that’ why i said i don’t think this is an effective poem and not that i think it’s a bad poem.  because it’s not.  i think you need to get over the fact that out of the many  people that read poetry, someone is not going to like this one.  and because poetry is subjective, how is it you want me to give you a more concrete critique?  you want me to tell you what words to change?  how to change the form? the title? see, all you really wanted was for me to tell you how good this poem is.  but here anyway: the punctuation in the first stanza is a little awkward (esp. the period between unravelled and of desire).  and i don’t get why the word “for” is isolated in the last stanza.
and in case you’re wondering, my “template” is…
clarity?  flow?  solid imagery?  best word choice?  effective form?  generates pathos?

i actually prefer negative criticism, it lets me know that i am doing something right/write…the fact that you didtn like it, made me happy…the fact that you can be baited into commenting again, is beautiful….

by the way…you are my puppet…goat jerker.

okay.  congratulations, someone had a conversation with you.  better yet, you even had to bait someone into it.  you’re not going to change anything and i’m not going to like the poem the way it is, so this is pointless.  final tip: i don’t know how you expect to be taken seriously when you call your critics monkey blowing goat jerkers.  it’s like third grade all over again.  

now we’re getting somewhere !!!!

amen…keep writing.
james

you know what, i am sorry …i forgot that the other kids in third grade stuffed your pants with boiled carrots and called you worm-slapper: if i brought up bad memories, i am sorry…please dont stop hating me, please? i want so bad for you to like me….

I only read poetry by people who refer to critics as monkey-blowing goat-jerkers.

you are too fucking funny chickiemcweird…i think we could be great friends.