Thank you bittersweetmemory. Would you please
indicate where the inconsistency of rhyme is in
order that I might correct it? Thanks
Tom W
Poetry / An Embracing Love
Still, you have the questions;
The lingering, fingers of doubts,
The need for analysis of Jesus’ mission;
The need to know what it was all about;
Though you know how He died;
That, all of it God’s word has explained;
Though you know even how He cried;
You still question what God’s love had ordained.
He embraces you, His hands spread out;
Held for all eternity, offering His love;
Is it only the nails you had not forgot?
He had expected His pain would be enough,
Yet you only have hung your pain
On the ends of each rusted spike,
Too proud to lay it upon His skin;
Too blind to see His gift, there to take.
And still you have turned your backs,
From His eternal reaching embrace;
Taking the path away, for the lack
Of courage to see His blood streaked face.
You have heard how He was scourged;
Removed of that with which He was adorned;
In the same way our sins were purged,
As He hung on the cross, alone and scorned.
His feet were held in place
As He pled for His Father’s mercy
For those who, in prideful haste,
Tore open the Gift, given to you and me.
Just as He remains steadfast and true ;
Unmoving, He still awaits, with open arms,
Ready to accomplish what He was sent to do;
To accept our request for safety from soul’s harm.
Succumbed to the world, the deed done,
He still had one more task to perform;
A soldier, divinely guided not to harm bone,
Pierced His body, and released a love storm.
The wound was opened, as you have read,
Releasing the water and blood, eternal;
As the soldier, washed by the flood, cried;
Knowing, then, God’s Son had truly died.
The water still flows as the river of life;
His blood still ready to wash away our sin;
The river waits, until the world is torn by His knife;
When the cleansed, for an eternity, will be joined to Him.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
kimbuhay reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
i loved the power of the poem and the intricate details it has. it succeeded in creating an impact on the reader and it drove the message across. nice work!
- add/view comments (1)
bittersweetmemory reviewed Version 1 -
Read 50% of the Item
i critiqued this earlier, line by line… and the site shut down for maintenance, lost everything.
i can’t do it again… so, in summary: nice message,
inconsistent rhyme,
when you commit to rhyme; you must follow through to the bitter end.
Showing 1 - 2 of 2
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Item Stats
GENERAL
2 Reviews 2 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: 3 months ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 50 Times
Skipped: 6 Times
Ratings & Rankings
