Poetry / Status Epilepticus

Years have consoled
My wounds left gaping
Though I still wait
For my heart to stop aching
My hands are still burnt
From the rope that has slipped
Your life whittled away
And the bottle was tipped
With each passing day
A new story begins
Although I wonder
When all this horror ends
The weight on my shoulders
Begins to fold and press
Not too much longer now
Before it weakens my chest
Harder to breathe under the burden
The one I reluctantly accept
Impossible to care for a family of stone
Whose wholeness died with your death
Your name remains unspoken
Inside these surrounding walls
Despite our unavailing attempts
You cannot hear our calls
The anguish behind his faded blue eyes
Pierces me with every glance
I long to ease his unyielding pain
But will never have that chance
I only wish to see him smile
To feel alive once more
An antidote I cannot obtain
So I watch endless tears pour
He drinks away what pain he can
To feel numbness instead of loss
Knowing well he will only replace
All feeling at his own cost
Slowly I watch this plot unfold
This life we all must live
Unrestrained, I beg for mercy
Somehow this tension must give
We are being torn to pieces
Each one of us spread too thin
A stone tossed, feeling its effects
Tranquility broken again
Give me an answer to this riddle
Because laughter cannot be heard
I want back what we once had
Before all Hell’s fury was stirred
Awaken me from this nightmare
From this blackness inside my head
Shake me until I am freed
Or let me quiver until I am dead