Poetry / poem.7: "This Poem Is A String"
This Poem Is A String
I remember when I first
learned that my heart is
a kite tied to the end of a string
that the wind put in its pocket
like some curious thing it picked up
alongside the road.
At the other end is your
vigilant clasp and steady eye
watching for any falter or dip
that would send me tumbling
to the earth. I remember the sound
of your feet in the grass as
you ran to toss me to the wind
and the hands of the air
rushing past the trees to catch me.
Am I now,
against this thick blue sky,
as much a sight as you
in your sun-drenched field,
our tethered hearts aching
to be closer,
but admiring the view
from where we are.
So I will hang on the wind
like a sheet drying in the afternoon,
feel the sun on my back
and admire the way your dress
ripples and billows around your knees
as the sky reaches for your skin.
Suddenly I notice you are most beautiful when
a rush of summer air gathers your
hair into feathers across your eyes.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
Here’s why I feel you have talent.For the simple reason that at your age, you afford yourself perspective in a tight emotional space.Using the kite is perfect.All the appurtenances for flight are revealing rather than cumbersome.Only crit. is in the punct.1st two stanzas.H.
- add/view comments (1)
I like the kite metaphor, the use of the word pocket. I am not sure about the stanza with tethered hearts in it, which is a bit less imaginative than the others?? overall it is simple and clear and evocative.
good work, like the content, spacing good, just watch out for punctuation, but i like this a lot
Showing 1 - 3 of 3
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
