Crime, Thrillers & Mystery / Blog of upcoming book The Tempest

‘join the FBI or go to jail’ I find this completely unbelievable. Which makes the whole thing unbelievable. But it it was believable the whole thing would be OK
How about…..
all the stuff happens. she wasn’t formerly known as, she was born JS wasn’t she?
but the FBI don’t know. She joins the FBI afterwards to exact revenge on the people who -caused her father to murder her mother..
Good idea to get the plot sorted b4 writing the book.
so, where does it go? Be careful of starting a book without knowing enough about the plot especially the conclusion
girl murders father.
girl joins FBI
girl is good FBI officer
Decide where to go next.How can you end this? Scene at mother’s graveside after she solves a particular crime. This would make a platform for another JS adventure.

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August 06, 2008

by Enigma28

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
59	82.9% (35 votes)	19.3%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
15	F	Australia	August 30

This is basically what I would put on the book jacket. I’m not going to explain the entire story it’s just something to get readers enticed. What you wrote there as the story is basically my story except she doesn’t do it for revenge, it’s for a friend. She is given a new identity etc….. I have parts of the book up here already although none of that is explained yet. It is completed, this isn’t an idea, it’s done. Thanks for your review, it’s not your fault you didn’t quite understand I’ll try to clarify it for readers.
Thanks again
Jodie

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The summary definitely sounds interesting, although I’m confused how one has to join the FBI or go to jail.  You usually have to have a background in law enforcement, psychology and a degree, but this is ficition and I can suspend beleif.  I’d love to see how you pull it off.

I think you should upload.  It would be worth a read.

Sounds like Modesty Blaise. Pick up some of her books at the used book store. You will find she had just as unlikely a childhood and now does just as unlikely things as an agent for British Security as Joanie/Sloan.

Sort of like the Avengers with Emma Peel.

Seriously, do some investigation on the FBI. It can only help with the details.

An interesting idea. I reviewed the chapter sample first so I’m not sure how much of this has changed.

I would suggest you treat this as a general outline but be willing to be flexible as the story evolves.

I think this is a great introduction of glimpse into what is going to come. I am intrigued and would like to read more once you finish. The only thing that personally doesn’t appeal to me as a reader is the whole “perfect super cop” thing. I think a heroine in a story thats “perfect” is boring, and not something we can relate to.. But I guess her dark past will make the reader empathize with her..
Overall, I would love to read more and see how you develop your characters and the story.

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June 16, 2008

by Enigma28

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
59	82.9% (35 votes)	19.3%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
15	F	Australia	August 30

Thanks for the review. It was nice to hear your opinion….the opinion of other people is important because they are the people that will be purchesing the book. I feel that you and a few of the readers of this blog have kind of missed the underlying issue in her perfect world, she is that perfect person, to everyone else, but she is deeply disturbed, it’s a play on societites view of the perfect person. It’s probably my fault that people aren’t quite picking that up though, I’ll try to change that. Thanks again
Jodie

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This sounds interesting, I wouldn’t mind reading more.  

A little bit of La Femme Nikita, a dash of Dashiell Hammet, and the prospect of a woman agent pursuing a monster.  Yes, let us have more.  Nothing like a good film nois type mystery.  Maybe you should upload your book!

very tempting… you should watch your punctuation… sentences are too lengthy and undefined making it hard to read. “commas” are your friend!

This blog would be a good approach for an agent providing the book is finished. Following the necessary guidelines found on web sites (and choosing carefully) most agents want a good synopsis of the book and this seems to fit the bill. Whilst I am not into crime and mystery thrillers myself, your presentation caught my eye and I thought it quite well done.

good start, but pay attention to your spacing,  and punctuation, its a good foundation for what could well be a damn good story