Children's / Pillows on Strike (Analysis)
George and Sally! A pair for the ages. The only drawback being the fact that they are large, soft, fluffy and unfortunately bruised pillows. In the summer of 89’ at the Forkville City Police Station, a tall 7story building in the centre of town, these kind and caring pillows devise a plan to save their lives.
Abused and beaten since they were born they wanted a new life WITHOUT pillow fights. Quickly laying down they are quiet as they hear Tonia and Samantha come back.
“Oh my gosh, I can’t wait for tonight! We get to have a pillow fight!” exclaims Tonia.
‘A pillow fight’ thinks George in horror!
As Tonia and Samantha (more commonly known as Sam) get called out, George and Sally quickly follow. Armed with cardboard and wooden stakes, they march outside and start yelling for all its worth.
“No more pillow fights! No more pillow fights!” holler George and Sally. Soon afterward more beaten pillows leave their houses and join in chanting the mantra.
Gathering around people stare with bewilderment. The pillows could talk, walk, and make a large amount of noise! Suprised and slightly scared, Tonia and Sam try to rally people together to help grab the pillows and end the endless noise. Tonia makes a lunge for George only to be beaten back with a stake held by Sally.
“Ouch that little monster hit me” screams Tonia in a rage,
“I’m going to get you for that!” charging at Sally she manages to grab hold of her foot.
“Muahahaha, I got you now my little pain-in-the-neck fiend” ,shrieking with laughter Tonia prepares to lunge at George again. Coming out of nowhere, to save the day, another pillow strikes her in the side of the head with the wooden stake, knocking her unconscious to the ground.
From up high an elderly couple observes the all-out war in front of them.
“We must do something before someone is really hurt” proclaims the old man.
“I agree. You know I’ve always needed some extra pillows around the house” she thinks out loud. So with a purpose in mind, the elderly couple leaves the comfort of their home.
“Attention everyone. Please pay close attention to what i am about to say!” shouts the old man.
Amazingly everyone stops fighting and focuses all their attention on this man.
“My wife and I have decided to adopt all the pillows who are fighting for their lives today because we dont want anyone here to be injured or decapitated.”
“What if we won’t allow you to take our pillows huh? What are you going to do then? huh huh?” questions Sam with raised eyebrows.
“I think the pillows have the right to decide that. What do you say? George, Sally? Want to come live with me?” asks the old man.
“YAY!! shouts all the pillows in synch.
So with joy in their hearts and a tune in their head, the pillows follow the old couple to their apartment.
The pillows were never used for a pillow fight ever again, and they lived happily ever after.
The End
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Hmm, wellllll, ummm, yes, it sucks a bit . . . but in a cute way. Yes, you’re correct. It is absolutely silly! I can live with that. If you did very little editing with this I’d say that you were fairly advanced for 7th grade. It’s not so outlandish that it couldn’t be recovered by the current writer. Give it a shot. Maybe you could get something out of this for a real children’s story, one that is for children of today.
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this is a very cute story… can’t believe you wrote it in the 7th grade.
children’s book?/leave out the bludgeonings with wooden stakes & the decapitations… let the pillows fight in “pillow fight”... and do their pillow talk.
this could be amazingly funny and a good read.. work on it.
save their lives./their own
Quickly laying down they are quiet/when the two pillows hear tanya & samantha coming to their room, they lie very still and quiet, hoping to remain unnoticed on the matching comforter… (or something like that)
change a few things and i’ll give it a 9
Very cute story, my nephew Cameron would love this story, try to get it published
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