Poetry / Ferrous Wheels/Desert Medusa

Every painted horse,penned
Every rusted horse at old adobe’ wall
All, making their way
to and out of the ground.

Sidewinders’ tails con-trail in sand,
Thoughts of her man.
Texas farm widow rides ferrous wheels.

Last summer Hercules spoke
his tractored disc and harrow.
Deep plow ran furrow line
to porch held boots.
Cobbs in ‘em now,
wheels once turning,
stopped,slanted.

Dreary-eyed mare just foaled.
Widow looks at sky.
Her boy had married,gone to town.
Last berry pie’s in the paine,
sunset on the rancho again.

Breezy evening walk is fruitful.
Finding reptilian coils cast,
passed in plethora.
Apron pouch full.

Widow sheds a bee-hive hair-do.
Loose, the whole mess falls.
Pinning old tails to the previous pile-up,
favorite fetish,wounded from nettled Saguaro.

Mexican dove cripple wing flutter flies
to lure away from squabbed nest.

Oh,desert Medusa!
Unpen your paint.
Bareback the appaloosa.
Brush her past your fruitless farm.
Go naked and new,
blue as Texas midnight,
to the place in the desert where
two mountains move in the noon sun.
In your madness,find a time for one.

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derekosborne avatar General Stranger

June 05, 2008

derekosborne

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derekosborne reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Hale,

I read it several times before all the pieces fell together.  I see where you are going.  Each rancho like a snapshot, a quick intense impression and then gone.  Some of them work better than others. I’m wondering if you don’t need to set it up in the first verse.  It would help ground the reader.  

South Texas train ride,
Rancho after Rancho
Baking in the sun
etc.etc. etc.  (Obviously not this but you get the idea)

Favoite verses are 1, 4 & 6.  Last verse is the best.  To my ear it should read

Oh,desert Medusa!
Unpen your paint.
Bareback the appaloosa.
Brush [] past your fruitless farm.
Go naked and new,
blue as Texas midnight
to [that] place in the desert where
two mountains move in the [] sun.
In your madness []find a time for one.

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halebop avatar

halebop

Age: 50
Loc: United States
Gen: M
Last Login: November 20
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