Poetry / Yielded Some Kind of Fantastic (Analysis)

The title and the poem’s first lines are magical, grabbing the imagination with new phrasing.  I love the juxtaposition of “3a.m. satire”, “god”, and “finally breathe.”  However, a few lines later your speaker dwells in a straightforward meal of banal statements.  ”I feel things” is hardly the zenith of poetical thoughts, after all.  I am not sure the vaguely philosophical line, “I have always been,” works much better either.  To me, the tongue and cheek aspects are the best parts, even the now misplaced ending.  In them you speaker’s intelligence plays with the reader in a kind of pantomime stream of consciousness that is both funny, neurotic, and intriquing.

this is very clipped and leaves too much up to the imagination.  I have only a slight idea of what is going on here.  The last line doesn’t make much sense at all to me.  What is this all about? If it is too abstract it is meaningless to the reader. Can you fit in solid images? Color, sounds, sights, smells, textures?

This is OK, but lacked any real hook to get me interested.  The language is a bit prose like and in something this short particualrly there needs to be something quite sharp, a killer idea or a brilliant image which is going to remain behind

I liked:

I doubt a little

I know
way more than I ever did

My name revealed is quite interesting

  ”You think; therefore you are” Loved the last line. Lol @ I am god…the lowercase brought the smile…to me almost a hestitancy to go up against the god of capitalization. It is a really good read. You are “here” and that is good. Thanks for sharing

This is very interesting can’t say I’ve seen it done in this kind of format before, I like the way your stansa was put together.

Blessings!! Nice and interesting! Left me smiling, thanks! Keep up the good work.