Poetry / Times Around About Changed (Analysis)

You used the word deranged twice and its sounds repetitive.

It definitly has something, it is a good piece,but you probably could’ve found another word for deranged, that kinda bothered me a bit.

Your writing is somewhat ordinary, but elegant in the same way. The flow of words and the thoughts you wish to convey is purely sincere. Keep up the good work.

This is good.  Some points seem ambiguous, but are prudent and flowing well.  There has been a lot written on these subjects, and you have taken the time to give each of us some accurate insight with your poem, and that is special to me. I am putting into my faves for awhile, thank you.

”...with connecting difficuties. I stumbled a bit over this line, and I think maybe its a bit long?  Also, missing punctuation at the end of that line.

Overall I like it.  I really like, “Sadness can’t complain without an ear to hear.”

I do wonder about the line, “Short but sweet the truths are delete.”  I am not sure the word “delete” works well there?  Maybe “obsolete”?  Something to try maybe.

Nice job overall.

I liked this piece. In a way it reminded me of Skaspearian(sp?) work, not really sure why though. I think it would be better if you elaborated more on the main point of it, it seems a little too short. Other then that though its a good piece worth revising.

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May 25, 2008

by cornelio

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Thanks for the review I will revise and resubmit.

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