Thanks. You know what – when people say that – it’s what it’s all about for me!
Poetry / The Magic Of Words
The magic of words…
We say ordinary – words, just simple – like goodnight,
And we all know it’s just a ritual,
But it feeds the soul.
We say daft things like – ‘where did I park my bike’?
When we don’t expect to get a reply,
But it fills an hour.
We say complicated things like ‘I love you’
And we think it’s easy,
That’s why we say it.
We say difficult things like auf weidersehen,
And glide into moonlight,
And then go to sleep.
We say what we do and we do what we see,
And then we go to sleep,
And glide into moonlight.
We say this is the way things are meant to be,
And sit uncomfortably,
And drink a cup of tea.
We say the world will come to a bloody end,
And then we send postcards,
I wish you were here.
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TiffVicious reviewed Version 1 -
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I think this can across so simple and clever. The message is clear. This started out so strong, and ended that was as well. You are such a creative thinker, you know how to play with words. I love this piece its one of my favorites.
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xElegantUsagix reviewed Version 1 -
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I liked this I thought it was pleasant imagery. I really just enjoyed it =)
Beer_and_Poetry reviewed Version 1 -
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I really enjoyed this piece. It kind of tugged at me. I think it has a very smooth flow to it and it keeps the readers attention throughout piece. I also enjoyed the well truthfully the entire piece. “We say the world will come to a bloody end,
And then we send postcards,I wish you were here.” This is my favorite part however. It kind of made me chuckle…how true.
I think this is a very easy piece to engage and hard to disengage from. It is simple but completely complicated. I didn’t see any technical errors. I think this is perfect the way it is.
daphne reviewed Version 1 -
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I like two lines out of your poem
“We say daft things like – ‘where did I park my bike’?”
and “We say difficult things like auf weidersehen”
It makes me think of Sound of Music, but this is a new way to view everything
Most people would just simply state the “i love you” portion, and forget the basic words. They only see fit to look into words that might be meaningful to them, like mom and dad. That’s why I like your poem. Your touch to words has opened my mind to its meaning. Good job!
elf_asura reviewed Version 1 -
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1. It doesn’t seem to be “poetry” but just a string of thoughts strung together in a linear mode that seems to ignore the “craft” itself.
2. This has tremendous potential and needs to be reworked a lot to get it into final shape.
3. Too many cliched phrases are used.
4. In places, it is too simple and doesn’t have what makes for a “twist of fate”.
5. Somehow, I feel one is sitting on a gold mine here but what one gets is only the unrefined ore as yet.
(I am sorry if you feel my review is too critical but then let’s discuss it further.)
Brian reviewed Version 1 -
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Beautiful, I love the line, “glide into moonlight.” This is an excellent poem that seems so simple, but as I unwrapped each line I found some wonderful nuances like in the line, “but it fills an hour.” There are so many directions that forced my mind to wander, it made me ask questions, and recall past experience. The rhythm is also excellent. It flows from line to line and thought to thought. Combine these with the twist of irony in the last two lines, and all I can say is, “Job well done.”
10pfrw06 reviewed Version 1 -
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Personally I loved your diverse use of simple words to convey such a powerful message. The imagery presented to the reader in this selection is beautiful.
Doctor_Rat reviewed Version 1 -
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I like the deceptive simplicity of your poem. It works on so many levels: the absurdity of language, that hint of something numinous in the moonlight, as a piquant commentary with a tang of levity. Nice one!
vickiebellew reviewed Version 1 -
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The repeating of we say is alittle mundane. Could be we ask. or i wonder. tweek it a bit. It’s a nice piece with some real quality. Good luck
PhotoWriter reviewed Version 1 -
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I really liked the phrase, “And then we go to sleep,And glide into moonlight,” for its poetic value. As a whole the poem left me a bit curious as to it’s purpose exactly. The mood of it was clear.
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