Poetry / Alchemy
ALCHEMY?
A wise man once told me,
It’s only the intangible that last,
Wood rots and people pass,
What’s written in stone,
Becomes covered by grass,
Yet life seems so peculiar,
And brilliant all at once,
It nudges and taps your shoulder,
Asks questions you never asked,
And forces an answer,
Of meek and mild tones,
Why are you here?
And what makes you carry on?
Is it the alchemy of that crooked line,
Keeps you going strong?
Is it the alchemy of life itself,
Makes you push along?
Is it that possibilities are endless?
And anything can be retrieved?
Or is it this way of thinking,
So positively?
The smallest things are created,
For purpose great or small,
The greatest challenge,
The bleakest love,
We manage through it all.
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Very good work. The poem reads easily and smoothly. The opening statements are very intuitive. I’m not exactly sure what you mean by “Alchemy”, though. To me, alchemy is a pseudo-science that involves mixing random things together in hope of turning lead to gold or making a potion for everlasting life. The tone of the poem seems to be that of hope and other forward-thinking things, without being unrealistically optimistic. The last stanza is very well put together. It drives home all the feelings of the poem.
The technical aspects of the poem are very well managed with the exception of one thing. Some lines have commas that shouldn’t… and other punctuation could accentuate the lines a little better. I’ll leave picking out where to you because it is your poem. I liked the way the stanzas were written in descending lengths of 13, 8, and 5 lines, making each seem clearer and more concise as I read. Well done. =]
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