Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Thoughts (Analysis)

I think you could break it down to more paragraphs.  If you wish you could also extend it.  Aside from that you did a great job!

Theres a lot of emotion in there, I liked it. But it seems a little jumpy, like all over the place…. and if thats how you feel, I know how that goes… and its a crummy place to be. Hopefully writing about it will help solve some of the problems.

Thanks for the read!

I can’t see what you’re asking for in a review honestly, except for those rating things above.

It’s easy to see what you mean, very clear and precise sentences. And to relate to someone else…well these are all real feelings. I wouldn’t know because I’m not experiencing them.

Just because I need to feel useful, I’ll tell you to rewrite the sentences, “I feel as if I am constantly placing myself in denial state of mind about everything, not allowing myself to come to full terms about what is bothering me.” Because you’ve already used the word “feel” and it’s kinda cheesey, and, “Possibly just reheating the emotions.” Which I just realized is not clear at all.

This is really profound!  I am deeply engaged with your thoughts, as I can easily relate to them.  I cannot offer criticism, even if I could, I would probably not, because this is a journal.  Bu I felt I should tell you how powerful this peice of writing was and how it had such an impact on me!  I wonder if you are in my head :)  (‘When life made since’=sense, minor I know, but it’s all I have to nitpick at :P)

A few lines stood out to  me as particularly exceptional.  They were:

“Possibly just reheating the emotions.”  Shows a lot of insight!!

“I just need to know it is OK to feel weak, to fall apart.”  We must have a lot in common.

“or better put, when I wasn’t in charge!”   a WHOLE lot!

The first line really just digs in deep, grips the reader and you keep it interesting and understandable.  Probably almost anyone could easily relate to this piece, even people who do let it all out, it is written so point blank and determined.

And when you point out that you are too young to feel this burnt out…remarkable.  You can read previous reviews made by me, I do not hand out compliments like this on a silver platter to everyone.  And NEVER has another peice received all 10’s from me in its criteria.

Superb.  I would love to read more from your mind!! :)

This pure type of writing is what writers call “A stream of concience.” In order for a person to be a great writer he or she must, first, write down thoughts without stopping to pause. It is not an easy feat for me. I am constantly wanting to correct and change things. Perhaps you can collect these thoughts and use them in a novel or short story later. When you write your thoughts you are validating your feelings. Keep up the collections of thoughts. Good luck, Sandi K.

From what I have read, you are not any different from me.  Put the differences aside, though.  Don’t look at people as if they hold a title over you, or a trident to the underworld, look and see that we are all just as fragile as the next guy.  From how this sounds, you have gone beyond the average vulnerability people feel, only because you are strong enough to.  But don’t let the ‘idiotic ideas’ rule the good person you have become, simply enjoy the learning experience this life you have can offer.

a very candid exploration of “self”, and with that exploration you confirm the pains we all feel. the fear of changes in our lives and the helpless panicky feeling brought about by those fears. well done.

You don’t really need that many ratings about relatability.  I would take out all but ‘relate to other lone wolves’.  
As for the piece itself, I think it’s something quite easy to understand and connect with on a personal level.  You express emotion, uncertainty, and societal restraints on displaying anything perceived as ‘weakness’.  Turning your mind off, forgetting, yet being unable to do so entirely, because the thoughts swirl around on the edges of your mind.  You did well, I believe.  
‘sense’ small typo.  
Overall, nicely done.  

Okay, first it’s annoying to ask me to rate the same thing over again in diffrent words. And second, it’s hard to edit a journal peice because the thoughts and story is the writers own personal experience. I do have to say that you get your point across well and have a clarity in expression. So great job with that =]