Since you have a few suggestions, why don’t you give them to me. As the writer, I feel I can separate what I can and can’t use, but without any information other than praise, I’ll never improve. Let me have it.
Poetry / A man who writes poetry
What kind of poetry do you like?
Do you pore over lines that rhyme?
Do you skip lightly to the beat
Of bouncing words with rhythmic feet?
Do you like
free verse
which jangles
and shocks you
into the clear pool
of introspection?
Do you like sweet sounds,
Oft spoken,
Of love’s sweet tokens?
Or would you rather hear
Less common sentiment?
When you said, “A man
Who writes poetry,”
Let me know
What you meant.
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B_HDouglas reviewed Version 3 -
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Great idea, and lucky you! Love the ending, it sounds so ‘personal’ if you will.
“Or bounce words” sounds better.
“shocks you” sounds cumbersome?
“sweet tokens” is brilliant, as is the remainder of the poem, with good everything.
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Runatyr reviewed Version 3 -
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Great idea here, and largely carried out well. Your reviewer’s notes, however, make an element clear that the poem perhaps ought to. A change of title may be all you need. Something like, “Response to your Ad” comes to mind, though something more eloquent might be in order.
It’s a fun poem with a measure of poignancy, cohesion, and talent that let it rise above. Light verse, perhaps, but done well.
malevolent reviewed Version 3 -
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Well let me say that this person has found a poet. This was nicely written; there are always a few suggestions, but they wouldn’t help much. I found this inspiring, although I am not sure why, which makes me like it even more.
My compliments
Blue_Eyes reviewed Version 3 -
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Excellent form, excellent rhythm, excellent rhyme, excellent word choices, and humorous to boot! Just excellent all around. So, did you hook up with the person who wrote the personal ad? ;)
darkwriter reviewed Version 3 -
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I really liked this poem, it is funny to me, and a great way of answering the personal ad. It gets your point across, and it flows smoothly.
I like the way you have it styled, it very appealing to the eye.
smileygirl reviewed Version 3 -
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I really enjoyed this poem. It is thoughtful, and well constructed. The last two lines give this piece a pleasant twist at the end, bringing it all together. I would suggest putting a line space between “Less common sentiment?” and “When you said,”A man” ”, because it is the place in the poem where you stop discussing the types of poetry and begin your question. Actually, you might consider breaking the entire poem into stanzas, simply to emphasize where one type of poem description ends and another begins. In this way your poem would truly be constructed of three or four smaller ones each of different type. The idea here is quiet ingenious. Keep up the good work! (:
queenparky reviewed Version 3 -
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I loved it. It does what it says on the tin….it is exactly what you would expect of a response to an ad. wonderful
JessicaHumiston reviewed Version 3 -
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This has made my day. This is a very smart and deliciously layered piece. Even if you do not realize the perfect tying of the lines words and their meaning, it still creates a flow and keeps you reading thoughout.
The end bothered me a little. It seems a little weak for a poem so storng. I would suggest getting rid of the last two lines, or perhaps moving them up to the lines right after ‘less common sentiment:
Less common sentiment?
Let me know
What you meant
When you said, “A man
Who writes poetry.”
Nerdtough reviewed Version 2 -
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The poem ultimately succeeds because it does exactly what poetry is meant to do. That is, it does not get lost or convoluted in its own meaning, yet remains playfully metaphorical at the same time. You use rhetorical questions to articulate the poets options in terms of device and style, while at the same time mimicking those very styles and devices you’ve described.
I liked it.
Simple, yet refined.
GoreyGirl reviewed Version 3 -
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Perfectly done and I liked that you shared what influenced this. I want to say more, but this one is a done deal to me.
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Version 3
Latest Activity: about 1 year ago
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| Version 3 | Version 2 (Deleted) | Version 1 (Deleted) |