Poetry / bittersweet homecoming

I enjoyed the content of this poem but found it difficult to read at times.  It didn’t seem to flow very smooth and the sentence structure was a little rough.  Maybe if you work on rearranging the verses a little it would flow better.  Other than that I thought it was an emotional, heartfelt piece and I enjoyed reading it.

i really like this piece, the way you described the particular scene was way better (you actually put a vivid picture in my head, not something a lot of people care to do nowadays) than just decent and the ending is amazing (but i’m sorry that you had that happen to you dahlin)

i really enjoy this piece, thank you so much for sharing

its sweet, nicely put together, i’ve read a million poems like this but of course, love never gets old… it was put together with coninuous flow, as if written all by impulse.. that is very cool because when you’re with your significant other that is how u feel, impulsive, without thinking of what to do next…

the ending seems to not coincide with the rest of the piece but a little revising will perfect it.

• add/view comments (1)

February 08, 2006

by allthingsconsidered

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
102	76.2% (21 votes)	39.7%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
24	F	Ontario, CA	January 09

I should probably explain a little about the ending. This poem was written to a lover that couldnt love me with anything more than his body because his heart still belonged to someone else. I desperately wanted to be that person, hence the lines ”...a world somewhere / where she didnt exist and i / do”. Thanks for the feedback  & happy writing all :)

You must login to the site or create an account in order to post a comment.

I really liked this.. it just made me want to close my eyes and remember what it feels like to have those emotions… it was really great!

Nice twist end. I’m no expert on poetry but I think the ending is what elevated it in my mind. I think the first part is perhaps a little cliched but this could be remedied with some unique details and descriptions.