I know that I really need to rework this piece. I am so busy I need to find more time to focus on this. Thank you for the input and when I do revise this I hope you vcan tell me what you think! Thanks!
Poetry / You will never be alone.
Lord bless my children. I ask you this they are precious and innocent. Blinded to the world for only a short time. They won’t always be mine. Guide them slow and steady through this life. For one day it could be rocky and unkind. I can’t always be there to catch them when they fall. To nurse their wounds when they cannot stand tall. Decisions will be theirs and right will not always prevail, and more than a dozen times they will fail. You Lord my maker my anchor through the rain. You have held me high and carried me through the pain. I trust only one with strengh and love not comparable, to hold their hands through a life which alone is unbearable.
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beccapikle reviewed Version 1 -
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EAnonymous reviewed Version 1 -
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JacquelynDavis reviewed Version 1 -
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The content of this is a 10+ because I think every good parent feels this way. Work on grammar.
happy writing,
JD
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Kaabii203 reviewed Version 1 -
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Sonora reviewed Version 1 -
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NathanD91 reviewed Version 1 -
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heidipatton reviewed Version 1 -
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Words of wisdom from a loving mother…poetic in verse yet it needs to have form and function. This could be so much more powerful if it was in poetic form…structured to lead us, pull at the emotion you are trying to evoke.
gbryananderson reviewed Version 1 -
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To me this is a prayer.
It is daunting to critique a prayer. So I will critique your ratings/rankings
Of course you have talent. I think you know that, and don’t need to ask others.
This can be published if you ask others, besides me, to be specific.
I think this is prose-poetry, and not poetry.
youngwriter92 reviewed Version 1 -
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I really like it but it sort of didn’t sound like poetry it was more like a prayer, but this is the first that i’ve read like this. You’re really good at it though.
jeells reviewed Version 1 -
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Good concept/idea. As far as poetry is concerned, though, it could use more spice. Word it up a bit. Roget’s International Thesaurus is something I swear by for such things. Second sentence is unclear- it looks like it should be two sentences, perhaps. Good prayer; just needs a little more to be good poetry.
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