Poetry / My Sweet September (Analysis)
My Sweet September
I see it must show
in my eyes to you confide.
this I can not sate
a colour I can not hide
to me love not so
her hand in mine not ever
I thee remember
I she thoughts of sew
in my spirit always reside
this I can so elate
a conjurer and so I lie
to be oh such woe
two souls come they not together
like an ember
I thee do now know
in my soul a longing sigh
this to me my fate
allure my heart to cry
to me a crushing blow
her heart and mine always sever
from eternal slumber
I knee on far below
in my anguish see you fly
kiss I your spirit emancipate
adure your thoughts say to mine
to me as I lie
her hand in mine always ever
My sweet September
I thee remember
like an ember
from eternal slumber
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im not sure of this poem. you say its ur 1st in english and it reads tht way as the language seems unrealistic (kudos if you wrote it this way) but for me i like poetry to seem collouquial.
Tony
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It seems very broken-up to me, which makes it hard to read. But maybe you intended that, an e.e. cummings sort of style?
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