Stage Play / Gabrielle's Kitchen (Scene Two) (Analysis)
SCENE TWO:
Darkness. There is a bath chair in front of the dining table. The baby’s pram is gone. When the lights fade up they do so from behind, silhouetting the figure, hiding its face. From the snoring, it appears to be asleep. The snoring continues for a few moments punctuated with indecipherable murmurings. Then there is silence (for as long as the Actress and Audience can bear it).
GRANDMOTHER
(sudden, shrieking)
What time is it?
There is a throaty chuckle of amusement.
GRANDMOTHER
(coughing slightly)
Alright so it kills the back of my blistered old throat but it still makes me laugh when I do it. With any luck she was holding a pan of scalding hot water just then…just on the brink of tipping it safely away and then Bam! One shriek from me and she’s burned both her legs and the floor’s just awash…
(throaty chuckle)
...and just how funny would that be, eh? Scalded all the way down her legs and the floor just awash…just awash with…
She tails off into wracking coughs that take a time to subside.
GRANDMOTHER
(breathing heavily)
Don’t judge me too harshly…the dying have little more than wishing misfortune on others to lighten otherwise dull, pain-filled nights and days. Ah, what do you care? You’re young and haven’t a care in the world, am I right “little bastard”?
A beat.
GRANDMOTHER
(irked)
Don’t think I didn’t hear you come in, I’m dying not deaf now did she send you to tell me what time it is or to tell me she’s scalded all down the front of her legs?
A beat.
GRANDMOTHER
(barks)
Well?
GRANDMOTHER
(as YOUNG GABRIELLE)
What time it is Grandmother.
GRANDMOTHER
(straight in)
What time it is Grandmother, so she’s not scalded herself?
GRANDMOTHER
(as YOUNG GABRIELLE)
No.
GRANDMOTHER
(heartfelt)
Bugger. Ah well: better luck next time. Well? What are you doing standing over there by the door for “little bastard”: coming in or going out? Either way don’t just dither in the shadows there where I can’t even smell you let alone see you and besides: I’ve just wet the sheets so come change them.
GRANDMOTHER
(as YOUNG GABRIELLE, calling)
Mother?
GRANDMOTHER
(straight in, mocking)
Not so soft “little bastard”...she’ll never hear you soft like that, have you learned nothing these past months?
GRANDMOTHER
(as YOUNG GABRIELLE, calling)
Mother?
GRANDMOTHER
Louder.
GRANDMOTHER
(as YOUNG GABRIELLE, calling)
Mother?
GRANDMOTHER
Louder!
GRANDMOTHER
(as YOUNG GABRIELLE, calling)
Mother!
A beat.
GRANDMOTHER
(shrieking)
Gabrielle? Are you deaf, girl?
A beat.
GRANDMOTHER
(sighs)
Apparently so…well, that leaves just you and me then “little bastard”, you and me and since I’m the one bed-ridden and you’re nearly ten I’d say you get to come change my sheets, wouldn’t you?
GRANDMOTHER
(as YOUNG GABRIELLE, quiet)
I suppose.
GRANDMOTHER
Well…I’m glad that you do suppose. Now get a wriggle on and change my sheets “little bastard” before the whole room starts stinking of stale piss.
GRANDMOTHER starts to cough repeatedly again before wheezing in a breath and exhaling from the effort.
GRANDMOTHER
And of course the “little bastard” did as she was told just like always. I blame her mother. All those years of “do this, do that” ”don’t do that, don’t say that” well they must have had an effect in the end. By the time I had the time to care what was going on I was dying and believe me: the dying don’t care about anyone but themselves no matter what they would have you believe before they go. Oh, I know what you’re thinking and I’ll concede that in the latter days of dying there are thoughts of those who’ll be bereft…dark, cold and bitter thoughts in my case but then I was dark, cold and bitter my whole life long so why bother changing for a lousy thing like death? Of course I blame my mother, just like she will blame me and ultimately, I suppose like the “little bastard” will blame her in the end…three generations of Gabrielles all bound together in mutually assured recrimination…pathetic.
Lights down. Blackout.
END OF SCENE TWO
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The device of having the same person speak all the lines is effective. I wonder if the last analytical section (The Grandmother) is necessary.
Proofreading notes:
not deaf now (run-on sentence. Remedy: place a period after death.)
door for “little bastard” (You need a comma after for to show that for belongs to the phrase “what are you . . . for” and not “for little bastard”.)
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You have a very good basic story line here, but a few key things are missing as far as details go. I understand that stageplays are supposed to have hardly any detail at all but just a little more would make the SP flow better. It really did catch my attention though. Good job.
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