Poetry / Inside Myself (Analysis)

I am not a professional critic… and it is very hard to encourage changes when the author has poored her heart into written words.  Hope your experiences are better now.  Thanks very much for sharing.
Michael

In this I feel the pains I have lived. It may not be the same circumstances but the pain that was inflicted by one that was/is suppose to love and nurture is a truly disheartening experience.  If you get the chance read my poems, “The Demon Rages” and “I Hide My Tears In the Rain”.  Writing can truly help you release the pain and life does not have to be eternally dimmed by the past.

Your writing is clear and strong here.

My style differs and I feel this poem may benefit and be made stronger by the breaking of certain lines – which uses the line length to place emphasis on the words and idea.

EX:
Troubled by dark memories
scarred by pain.
Inside myself tears fall like rain.
Lost and alone is how I feel.
I tell myself
it just isn’t real.
How could you do the things you have done?

By shortening lines and taking out the unecessary – the words used become more powerful.

This was pretty depressing. But since it’s supposed to be that way I applaude you. The only true criticism I can give is that if you make the number of syllables from phrase to phrase too different, then it breaks the flow when you are trying to read. Other than that it was very good.

This is a joke, right?? Very funny.