Poetry / Two women (Analysis)
Two Women
Two women were pulling
Two women were pushing
Pulling pushing
Pushing pulling
You took my husband, you maile. Eat shit
Save me, mercy
But who could have mercy
on a woman who sneaks into a fale
like a rumour and
steals a man as if he was a pair of jandals?
Two women were punching
Two women were kicking
Punching kicking
Kicking punching
Like WWF – village styles
Who cheer their hero to fight fight fight
And blood doesn’t matter.
It’s not real. Is it?
You can sleep with him at night
But you can’t stay until morning
Slut, dirty unwashed slut
Two women
Two women were pulling
Two women were pushing
Pulling pushing
Pushing pulling
You took my husband, you maile. Eat shit
Save me, mercy
But who could have mercy
on a woman who sneaks into a fale
like a rumour and steals
a man as if he was a pair of jandals?
Two women were punching
Two women were kicking
Punching kicking
Kicking punching
Like WWF – village styles
Who cheer their hero to fight fight fight
Blood doesn’t matter.
It’s only Hollywood.
You can sleep with him at night
But you can’t stay until morning
Slut, dirty unwashed slut
Two women were crying
Two women were bleeding
Crying bleeding
Lying needing
The policeman who turned up
Sent for the adulterous man
Made him face the village
Who laughed because he had no shame
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Hell of a poem. I loved the images and the clear story line while at the same time admiring the meter and the wonderful use of words. If there is a flaw here, it is the break from the established structure you use through the first four verses to complete the poem in individualized single line double spaced verses. Or maybe it’s a fifth verse of single double-spaced lines to the end. Anyway on first read I thought it was a mistake or a format error. Three reads later, I can’t say that it’s not. But I can say, “Good job,” because it is. I particularly like the “pulling pushing, pushing, pulling” repetitions. Very nice.
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Its simple, nicely told. I am not sure the repetition works.
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