Yes, there is a connection between them, and there is a reason I put them in the story, but you’ll have to find the reason behind the madness.
Horror / Black Butterflies
One black butterfly, two, three. Like death they surrounded me; shutting me out from my trivial sanity. They flew around me in morbid circles, trying to land on my living skin, but I pushed away their fluttering wings, and cast aside my fears. I stepped forward, walking past those gray, gray windows with their phantom-ridden drapes.
“Come, Grim Reaper, come,” I said in my dreamland, “depart me from my torn and bloody soul. Let me be free to walk this world without the weight of life on my shoulders. Welcome, my night in black armor. Will you take me away to the land of red poppies? Or will you say no, and walk away with your black coat billowing in dusk’s cool breeze?”
I lifted my face to the heavens, basking in the blessed water that fell from its stormy sky. Wind rushed at my back, making my hair fly up into a golden halo. A shot rang out, like the maniacal laughter that tolled from my unforgiving soul. I fell to the floor, screaming in insufferable agony. The reaper’s name were the last words that escaped my lips before my soul was lifted into eternal paradise; eternal salvation.
Light shone around me, blinding me with all its glory. I looked down upon earth then, and saw a black butterfly land on my mouth. I smiled, but my earth-bound lips didn’t move.
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icedsapphire reviewed Version 1 -
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shannygoat reviewed Version 1 -
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DC_Karma reviewed Version 1 -
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I really enjoyed this. It was full of imagery and was very much like reading a poem. I think this may work well also as a piece of flash fiction. I love the dark yet sweet softness to this peice. It is death described with much dark beauty and I am very fond of that genre. However, I didn’t find any ‘horror’ aspects to it I feel it is more of a dark fantasy.
I hpe to come across more of your writing! Thanks for sharing!
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sjvance reviewed Version 1 -
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Suicide…I don’t know that it would be so sweet. ”A shot rang out, like the maniacal laughter that tolled from my unforgiving soul.” Awesome line. Your writing is very good, you have a lot of talent, even if the writing is dark. You will only improve with age. :)
Marian reviewed Version 1 -
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Good story. It was imaginative but I would like to have read a little more detail in the story. You could have offered more explanation of what was going on but I could see you put a great deal amount of effort into it. You have the potential to do better but overall it was good.
moonlitjade reviewed Version 1 -
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O my Gosh I can’t tell you how intrigued I was by this whatever it was (a cross between poetry and a short story,) I think I understand your poem I have one similar to the topic that you are discussing, some people would say that you are morbid for glorifying death in this manner I say that you are brave for bearing your soul to nameless strangers from all over the country. I think you did an awesome job on this piece and I think that you might be able to publish it, in a book. All in all wonderful poem I love the imagery, I understand the whole picture but is there a specific meaning to the black butterflies and gray windows cuz I see no connection between them and suicide except for the fact that they like suicide are in a way glorious yet at the same time horrible and still they have a mysterious beauty to them. IDK what I am saying but I really loved the poem please do not change a thing.
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