Thank you and yes you got it right the setting sun personified. Many people just do not seem to understand what it means to personify. Yet, I do not want to spell it out for them in the intro. Thank You for reading and reviewing I enjoy your reviews.
Poetry / Lovers In The Sky (Analysis)
Tiny fingers long and slender
caress the eve with shaded splendor
with reverent touch and gentle sway
meant to woo her lover’s stay.
Passions rise steady, hale, and true.
Create the sweep of lovers who
in desperate searching finds release
a setting sun she gains her peace.
As we explore the romantic scene,
the lover’s dance becomes serene.
Delicate balance of light and dark,
the close of day leaves her mark.
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l13dj13 reviewed Version 1 -
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AmaliaKaterena reviewed Version 1 -
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I really liked how you kept up the rhyme scheme throughout the work, not a very easy task. Overall this poem was entertaining, and I could definitely see the imagery behind your words. Keep up the great work, and I will be looking out for more to read in the future.
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Howard_Bushart reviewed Version 1 -
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Nice personification—of the sun? The images are sharp and the sounds good. You’re using more periods at end stops than I’m accustomed to seeing but you use them well to shift focus without stanzaic breaks and your rhyme scheme is excellent. Good job.
wise2owls reviewed Version 1 -
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The tone and passion of this poem is wonderful. ’Delicate balance of light and dark’ what power this brings to my mind. The description you have for this person`s loving presence is awesome. Thank you.
darkwriter reviewed Version 1 -
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I loved this, it’s a beautiful piece that shows and makes you feel the love of two people. A beautiful act is indeed personified by your poem. Excellent job.
MarkFolse reviewed Version 1 -
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Think of adding some detail to the idea “passions rise steady, hale and true” in the same way you used fingers at the beginning and the setting sun at the end. Give us the romantic scene.
hajara reviewed Version 1 -
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Superb work! Apt title too ! I really liked the personification of the “long and slender fingers”. The poem explains a romantic scene in depth. The work is adorable. The rhyming is perfect and it has an entertaining rhythm too. I liked the lines “caress the eve with shaded splendor /with reverent touch and gentle sway /meant to woo her lover’s stay”, “Create the sweep of lovers who /in desperate searching finds release”. But the line “a setting sun she gains her peace” seems a separate entity.I also liked the closing lines “Delicate balance of light and dark,/the close of day leaves her mark”. They give the poem a perfect finish. Keep up with the good work!
Assassin9wb reviewed Version 1 -
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its romantics are very scenic, reminicint of sun set and rich smells. even not described you can still make out a picture, for example ‘shaded splendor’ might be a tree which is great because it leaves you thinking about what could be the manifested or objective ‘shade.’ also the ryme is good, basic beat, but the structure is repetitive, i think it fits the rhym so no prob there. id still make it not as strait, though i dont see how. as a chaotic poet i think this in opposition is in good order, but structured ryme is much better 4 by 4 or 2 by 2. you used a 1 by 1 which is to simple to structure so it may become boring, this one is good but a change in style might be welcome.
irisknight reviewed Version 1 -
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I can only assume this poem is the personification of love. I don’t think most people see love as a person, but just an emotion. “Lovers in the Sky” was very well thought out. I’m sure “love” sometimes feels lonely and unloved at times, if it were an actual person,it was certainly a very unique p.o.v.
Rol reviewed Version 1 -
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Nice rhythm, beautiful imagery. ”as we explore” is a little clumsy, harsher as compared to the other lines.
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