Thank you for your empathy and compassion, it brought tears to my eyes.
Poetry / Denying You, Your Mother’s Love (Analysis)
Aspasia and Aricia, precious flowers of my soul.
My heart breaks at his continued abuse, but we know
That time and mendacious men have tied my hands
Preventing me from making custodial demands.
Though what they do
Brings harm to you.
Continuing to scar your psyche
With emotional damage entirely
Uncalled for in your early years.
I feel your pain spill your tears
And hear your anguish cries of hopelessness
As he breaks your hearts unscrupulous,
Repeatedly, refusing to see
How your spirits are wounded deeply.
He continues to lie, denying you, your mother’s love.
Selfishly in petty revenge, ‘tis never you he thinks of.
I would take your sadness upon myself as well,
To protect you from this hurt, this hell
Your aura of despair
Completely aware
Of your lonely days without our candid affection.
I hope you feel my comforting love in connection
With all the little things that to you I gift
As your spirit and smiles, I try to lift,
Whenever we are able to speak on the phone,
Or you are here with me, we three alone…
I petition your laughter every day
Genuinely miss you in every way.
I want to be able to do so much more
To pry and open that locked door
Of stubborn ego that emulates
Disrespect as fear accumulates.
Hold on tight as before the dawn
Comes the twilight then it is gone.
I love and miss you my precious flowers.
“I’ll like you for always.
I’ll love you forever,
As long as I’m living
My babies you’ll be.”
Until we are together once again~
Here is a kiss from my heart to yours …
Love Always,
Mommy
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
spiritualdeciple reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
I love the meaphor of this piece you have a very quaint way of adapting your feelings into your work, well done.
The visualy feel to this work is realy indepth, I was realy there with you.
- add/view comments (1)
wesguptill reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
I am not sure of the story that compelled the creation of this piece, but I am positive that you have captured the raw emotion that leaks, no, pours from it. Abuse, in any form, is a travesty, and so many women are powerless against its impact upon them and their loved ones. It is more so tragic, when the unwitting victims are children. Being a parent and the product of an abusive parentage, I can honestly say that this piece reached inside me and touched the very core of my being. It is beautifully rendered, sad in its presentation, but left me with a feeling of hope for the woman and children. I do not know if that was the reaction you were going for (or if you had any aim other than to release some burden of pain from your soul), but that is what it did. And I count myself a bit changed for having read the piece. I am reminded that there is suffering out there, in the wide, cruel world, and that I should cherish every peal of laughter, every golden moment with my loved ones, my children most especially.
I thank you for this work, and now count it as one of my favorite pieces on this site. Peace be to you and yours, and smile- because your children know that you love them.
l13dj13 reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
that touches really deeply. at first i didnt get what was going on, were you just sitting back watching them get abused? and then realisation dawned and i understood. i loved it and i loved the way you wrote it… and congratulations on creating an ending that will stick with the reader for ever
thankyou very much for sharing this one
xl13dj13x
IdeeFixe09 reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
I really did like it and I’m glad that it’s personal, well not actually glad, but that it comes from the heart makes it much better than writing from the sidelines.
The only thing I didn’t like was the use of the word ‘unscrupulous’. Don’t ask why, it just bothers me a little bit. Usually it is only one thing that bothers me and it’s always small and meaningless, but you should still know what gets to your readers.
What was this from:
“I’ll like you for always.
I’ll love you forever,
As long as I’m living
My babies you’ll be.”
It caught my eye and I know I’ve heard it before, but I’m not sure where from.
Thunderwalker reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
Try not to employ vocabulary people have to look up. Intelligent people will know the meaning or figure it out by the context, but poetry doesn’t have to employ unuusual words to be profound.
jadedpoet reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
Hello,
This piece is absolutly overflowing with wrought emotion, allowing me to genuinely feel and absorb your pain. My heart so goes out to you for your life, if this is truly as it is, it must be horific. I cannot even imagine other than with this awesome but devistating picture you have painted forever in my mind. You are quite talented. I only hope you have more to post with the same emotion. me…
cooljim102055 reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
hi there,
very good, minus the form and ryhme you decided to leave out..(your choice of course) but if you want to turn a 7 into an 8-9 depending on improvement, you know what you gotta do already!!!......:)..later,jim
Showing 1 - 7 of 7
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Relevant Links
Item Stats
GENERAL
7 Reviews 4 Comments
Version 1
Latest Activity: 3 months ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 0 Times
Skipped: 4 Times
Ratings & Rankings
