Nice way to put it. Thank you very much for your review, Zinkyre. :)
Journal, Diary, & Blogging / Dreams And Nightmares
Dreams
My dreams are fantastic manifestations,
whose very elements are stemmed from reality.
As my conscious mind lies dormant in slumber,
my subconscious mind awakens,
under the protective shelter of darkness.
In my somnolence,
I transform into a masterful artist.
My deepest desires and aspirations,
as well as experiences from my waking life,
are drawn upon to provide my inspiration,
and to afford me,
a veritable palette of ambiguous color.
Upon my minds canvas I apply each succinct hue,
to compose a genuine, yet nebulous,
portrait of myself.
Nightmares
These are my darkest fantasies and fears,
stripped free of any pretense,
and laid bare before me;
yet remaining nearly indecipherable.
A tangled skein,
spun from the discolored and frayed
threads of my subconscious mind.
These somber sensations rest,
doubled and redoubled,
layer upon layer,
in a sort of fabric labyrinth;
that, if successfully navigated,
may find me staring directly
into the face of insanity.
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
Felorah reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
I think I stopped breathing when I read the last few lines.
Bravo, bravo, molto bene.
Just… breathtaking.
- add/view comments (1)
Zinkyre reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
This sums up everything. The Master Equation for All Life Processes was just answered with this. Bravo.
cloudyknight reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
I’m not one to read much poetry, but THIS is wonderful! I love the way you compare the conscious and the subconscious. Well done!
Allison64Lee reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
I can’t even tell you how much of a good poem this is! I totally understood it all. The metiphores and word chices were great. Two thumbs up for you!
oknapp reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
How wonderful and intelligent. Why couldn’t i have thought of it. You explain the differences in nightmares and dreams. There is good wordplay and lots of great adjectives. I believe in them wholeheartidly. a poem without good strong adjectives is like a morning without a sunrise. I see so many works without defining words. I don’t like stark poetry. I like words that reach out and grab at you. Yours does. I enjoyed this very much Sandi
SANINATHEWRITER reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
This hit me hard, maybe thats why i chose this piece to read. its very deep and very true.i have sometimes found myself lost after a certain dream or nightmare. things we dream about are sometimes stemmed from our subconscious. But anyway before i go all off, this was very good. kudos
Perfect_Shadow15 reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
This is really powerful. I really enjoy it and can see how..opposite they are. I love it. Keep writting.
Carina reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
I love this. I think you did a masterful job with the language as well as the ideas. I don’t think I can suggest any changes…I think the final word “insanity” ends it with such strength and does not disappoint. It doesn’t read like a journal or blogging generally would but I suppose anything is possible and if words come out of you like that, you are lucky. It feels “crafted” enough to fit in another category, poetry, perhaps if you believe strongly in poetic license, as I do. Great work.
Auran reviewed Version 2 -
Read 100% of the Item
The dreams aspect of the poem seems to be concentrating on the positive qualities you possess. It’s merely a metamorphic reference to dreams, more like a daydream sequence. Each of us has fantasies that usually only stay in our minds. At times, we are conscious individuals instead of being a person of action. As we get older, most times they let go of their “desires” or “aspirations.” These factors are there, but they are never acted upon.
All human life has a “dark side” about themselves. Most keep the beast within them silenced, but then it begins you to build up, leaving you feel like a madman. You persist on trying to decipher the inner conflict that it is a “labyrinth.” I can assure the analytical mind trying to discover this is only going to lead into a dead end.
Pardon me if my interpretation is incorrect. My strengths are found on concentrating on the content.
The imagery, metamorphic references, and style were well crafted together. The vocabulary is strong which completes this artwork of poetry. I like how you described the “dreams” and “nightmares.” It wasn’t what I expected it to be.
Auran
Sparkles reviewed Version 1 -
Read 100% of the Item
Well put. Now for a suggestion. Try weaving the two together as opposed to having one segment for dreams and one for nightmares. I think that by doing so you will breathe more life into your work.
Showing 1 - 10 of 16
Next →
Review item
Add to favesCreator
Item Stats
GENERAL
9 Reviews 12 Comments
Version 2
Latest Activity: about 1 month ago
REVIEW QUEUE
Appeared in Queue: 118 Times
Skipped: 9 Times
Ratings & Rankings
Versions
| Version 2 | Version 1 (Deleted) |