Poetry / If You Only Knew/Kind Words (Analysis)

to me this read like a diary entry or an open letter and not really a poem.

the content and subject is very sentimental. alot of people eat that stuff right up so it should be very publishable.

Beauties don’t always escape tragedies. One must go through hell then become the rose; those that bear the bitter then become the poetic – this is what I always think. This is what means to be a human. We seem intent going through even though the worst heartbreak. This is what makes us human. This is what makes tragedies can be so beautiful sometimes. I can see this from your writing – it’s very direct,  straight forward, and genuine. A good write.

I found this very touching.  I am a mother of a two year old son and also a teacher.  This spoke to me.  It is the first poem I reviewed here that has allowed me to say that.  I have no constructive criticisms because I’m too moved.  Thank you.

Possibly publishable in a select venue.

This is a touching story.  Grammatical errors:

    the struggles he faced

might sound better to say the struggles he faces.

     makes him hate himself so much that he didn’t want to live

might sound better as then you are not mixing past and present tense.
makes him hate himself so much that he doesn’t want to live

Wow! That is the only first word I can say in relation to this piece!

It’s powerful, gripping, and tells a story – brilliant things a poem should have.

I love how you address the reader directly, making us feel more involved in the storyline. It works very well that you start with the image of how helpful he is, and the compliments, how the public see him, before transcending into what lies behind the image.

I was wary of your style at first, but it all works and I think adds to the overall impact.

I only knocked off a mark as I found some of what you said a bit contradictory. Especially this verse, “My boy was with me in the grocery store to prove that he could be there without a panic.  He had to walk next to me and not grab onto me and say he was sick.  But he stopped to play peek-a-boo with your baby when you were trying to decide on dessert.”
If the boy is so scared, how is he able to so freely interact with these people?
Also I though to tie it all together maybe you should mention (probably at or near the end) the exact name of his condition, or use some more scientific words to describe it to show how involved the mother is in it, and how these words have become a part of everyday life.

That’s just a suggestion though, because overall I think it’s brilliant!
Thoroughly enjoyed reading it, so keep writing!

There should be a cama (,) between “generous”and “kind” I hate that you jump tenses in this.

A beautiful poem. :-) Makes me wonder just how many people that we meet are taken for granted, and that we see only one side, only what we want to see. :-)

Beautiful. :-)

I was very moved ;   although I  can think of  one or two improvements,
this work is very good.  I do hope your boy’s psyche can  mitigate/ heal and that both of your lives improve.  You are courageous, and courage is rarer than gold.  

Apologies but due to a bereavement I am unable to review in more detail at present.

In time I hope to do that.

Pfeiffer.

Vert touching and so very needed in the world today. So many struggle with these complex monsters within that attempt to gooble them whole.  

This was well written in the prose style. I would really do nothing to change it if that is the way you like it – it explores something that many have no experience with or ability to understand.

Bringing a light to this area ever so gently is, as you have done is to be applauded.

Very nice. You capture something that nobody sees anymore. The good in people. You should be very proud that you raised such a strong child.