Lyrics / nothing at all (Analysis)

my soul wont rest until ive done my best, until you fly i feel undressed, naked to the world that judges me, i show them shows and they lie to me, tell me im not who i used to be, ive lost what i had, but im finding who i was, its not what i had, but what i loved, not where i reigned, but what i shined as sun when the light of life was in what i sung, when i held your head i whispered softly, when i kissed your forehead this is what it cost me, the price of life is what he offered me, i tried to find who you were and it almost ended we, i had to understand that he made us free, that as i love, i must believe, that if hes in you, then nothing else can be… theres nothing wrong with you, theres nothing wrong with me.  

the tears and wings youre so good at hiding, i close my eyes and come out fighting, i yell at myself when im not perfect, when i start to drown thats when my feelings surface, whats left of who i was, keeps me enough together to stay in love, if you let go i hold you closer, days may seem hopeless but its not over, i married you the day i fell, sometimes  its hard, and worse days its hard to tell, but ill never curse your blessed spell, all i am and have achieved, all ive seen this is all i believe, through all that awes your all i dream.. theres nothing wrong with you and theres nothing wrong with me.


my words are all i have to give you back the gift you give me, fate used to hate me until you picked me, i hope i die before i wake up, your not a story i could make up, you leave my bed and i stay touched, loving that i love you so much, we gave in, and now we cant give up, causes flaw, but the strong stay free, ill believe in you while you breathe in me, dont close them now, theres too much good to see, baby theres nothing wrong with you, theres nothing wrong with me

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starla77 avatar General Stranger

July 08, 2008

starla77

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starla77 reviewed Version 3 - Read 100% of the Item
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goofygoober168 avatar General Stranger

July 07, 2008

goofygoober168 Prolific-icon-medium

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goofygoober168 reviewed Version 3 - Read 100% of the Item

I can appreciate the sentiment shown here, but as far as a rhythm or ‘cadence’...I’m not feelin’ it. Forced rhymes and rampant run-ons…I’m not sure where to begin. Try breaking it down by stanza and focus on telling a story instead of free flow thoughts (which is what this feels like) and perhaps it will come across stronger and more put together.

AmyWalker avatar General Stranger

July 06, 2008

AmyWalker

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(2 votes ) personal info reviewer stats
AmyWalker reviewed Version 3 - Read 100% of the Item

This is great! I was just about to criticise the ending where you said “baby theres nothing wrong with you, theres nothing wrong with me” but just remembering that it is a song and I think the song plays very well in my mind I can just vaguely hear the music flow with the lyrics.

It was surprisingly good!
I enjoyed reading it, because it had a great flow it wasn’t cluttered or forced at all I loved it!

Keep writing songs I think it is definitely your genre!

Thanks for the read,

Amy

Amy152 avatar General Stranger

July 04, 2008

Amy152

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(2 votes ) personal info reviewer stats
Amy152 reviewed Version 3 - Read 100% of the Item

“i married you the day i fell, sometimes  its hard, and worse days its hard to tell”

I’m not sure what you’re trying to say at this part. As for the rest of it though, I could deeply relate. I can see how it would be better performed, I had to stop a few times to go back and reread a bit slower. Would love to hear the melody it goes to.

poechick avatar General Stranger

July 03, 2008

poechick

REVIEW QUALITY: 50.0%(2 votes ) personal info reviewer stats
poechick reviewed Version 3 - Read 100% of the Item

This is very good!
I love the truth, the sincerity of it all.
I can really hear this, especially to acoustic guitar!
Lovely!

stephBALTIMORE avatar General Friend

July 03, 2008

stephBALTIMORE

REVIEW QUALITY: 50.0%(2 votes ) personal info reviewer stats
stephBALTIMORE reviewed Version 3 - Read 100% of the Item

I love how refreshing this is. Although it is seemingly a common topic of love you use imagery to display it in a delightful way despite the underlining sadness that I can feel through your words. This piece has this evolving sense of comfort through your words that I adore. I could see this evolving into lyrics.

starbourne avatar General Stranger

July 03, 2008

starbourne

REVIEW QUALITY: 50.0%(2 votes ) personal info reviewer stats
starbourne reviewed Version 3 - Read 100% of the Item

I love this piece. I felt every bar and the flow works well together. I do see how it must perform better than it reads. A classic for sure.

irisknight avatar General Stranger

July 03, 2008

irisknight

REVIEW QUALITY: 50.0%(2 votes ) personal info reviewer stats
irisknight reviewed Version 3 - Read 100% of the Item

I enjoyed reading the lyrics to “Nothing at All”, and you may be right about it being performed better than it reads.  You are a performer I assume, and I can clearly invision you on stage, singing this song, not matter how slow or fast it is performed, I’m sure it would make a wonderful song.

Ceridwen avatar General Stranger

July 03, 2008

Ceridwen

REVIEW QUALITY: 50.0%(2 votes ) personal info reviewer stats
Ceridwen reviewed Version 3 - Read 100% of the Item

I see where this has a lot of potential to be amazing.  Partly, the lack of punctuation and capitalization is a little distracting for me, but it may not bother others.
Amazing line “I’ll believe in you while you breathe in me.”  It’s the lines like that which make me see how great this could be with a little more structure and consideration of meter.  Check your lines to make sure they flow smoothly and the biggest part will be done, everything from there will just be fine tuning.

JessicaBrynJ avatar General Stranger

July 03, 2008

JessicaBrynJ

REVIEW QUALITY: 50.0%(2 votes ) personal info reviewer stats
JessicaBrynJ reviewed Version 3 - Read 100% of the Item

I liked the rhymes. The message is a bit foggy, but i tried to imagine it being performed and I saw that it’s pretty good.
You should put music with it. =]

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Creator
ch avatar

ch Prolific-icon-medium

Age: 26
Loc: Henderson, NV
Gen: M
Last Login: November 22
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10 Reviews 9 Comments
Version 3
Latest Activity: 3 months ago

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