Limericks / Scan Disk Function (Analysis)
A man who sang lecherous ditties
In countrysides, towns and in cities,
Was overheard to remark
To some girls in the park,
“Please give me a flash of your bus schedule.”
You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.
Reviews
Sort Reviews by Newest | Oldest | Highest Quality | Lowest Quality | Newest Comments |
This 5 word review has not been unlocked.
This 20 word review has not been unlocked.
This 71 word review has not been unlocked.
This 24 word review has not been unlocked.
This 8 word review has not been unlocked.
A man who sang lecherous ditties
In countrysides, towns and in cities,
Was overheard to remark
To some girls in the park,
“Please give me a flash of your bus schedule.”
So stinking funny, it’s good!
I can’t see anyway to improve your verse! Perfect 10’s
- add/view comments (3)
Clever anti-limerick. definitely unexpected ending. You do have 7 syllables in the 3rd line though, which feels a tad long when read. Not sure how this is a “publishable short story”...
Hi,
This was all working well in terms of Limerick style and rules, until I read the last line. I would re-work the last line so that it rhymes with the first two lines.
Good beginning, just work on the ending.
Take care…
The last word in the last scentence does not rhyme terefore it, to me is not a limrick
I think that its kind of creepy, yet entertaining. You can’t help but wonder what happened to the girls. Did the old man get slapped? I love your word usage, but you may want to make it a tiny bit more simplified, for I had to consult a referance to find out what some of the words meant, and if you’re aiming for a younger crowd, maybe you want to simplify it.
Showing 1 - 10 of 31
Next →
Review item
Add to faves
GENERAL
REVIEW QUEUE
Ratings & Rankings
