read it again.. not my wife.. ‘a’ wife in general. all i said is I’d like to date her. read it for real next time and don’t just skim through it because it’s too long. If you sang it, it’d be no longer than the average song out there…
Lyrics / Something In My Eye
I’m not crying there’s something in my eye
I’m just trying to watch her pass me by
I’m not sure who she is or where she’s going
But I’m sure if I did then I’d be knowing
What she likes to do when life’s a bore
What she wore when I saw her before
And I’m sure that she’d turn and look my way
If I’d only give in and talk to her today
There’s something in my eye, damn it’s going to water
Hey mystery father, I’d like to date your daughter
She’s caught my eye and I can’t look away
She’s something in my eye I won’t wipe away
I’m all lost for words and my eye starts to tear
I reach up to wipe it as she disappears
Now the world spins around me the same as it was
The minute before this, but she’s gone because
I wiped away the only chance that I had
With whoever she was, is that good or bad
Ok, I know that it’s bad that we haven’t talked in my life
And even sadder to tell that she’ll never be a wife
There’s something in my eye, damn it’s going to water
Hey mystery father, I’d like to date your daughter
She’s caught my eye and I can’t look away
She’s something in my eye I won’t wipe away
But I wiped her away like I said that I wouldn’t
And I looked away like I said that I couldn’t
And she turned to the street to cross to the store
As a truck turned the corner, pedal to the floor
It happened so quick, that when I looked up
Her on the gurney, oxygen all hooked up
Our eyes met for the first, for all the times we’ve past
But somehow she smiled as her eyes sparkled their last
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Harmony reviewed Version 1 -
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I love that “hey mystery father, I’d like to date your daugther.” It seems to end abruptly but maybe that’s intentional given the content. I like the underlying theme take your chances as they present themelves less they be lost to us forever. Thinking of you and wanted to feel close so I got online to read your post…MUAH
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the_ringer reviewed Version 1 -
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This song is entirely too cheesy for me, but I’d still say go for it if you got a riff in mind. Just listen to any lyrics you hear on the radio. You got them beat, am I right? Funny way to be inspired haha.
xoek reviewed Version 1 -
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hey this is a great song… can imagine it being played in a band,... very sweet the way you tell this story… love the way you relate the thing in your eye making you cry to the girl being caught in your eye as well thats a nice little link, yeah just a very nice message well done :)
another_name reviewed Version 1 -
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Uh, I’m pretty much in love with the analogy made. She is the something in your eye. That’s pretty much perfect to me. Altho, your first goal seems strange to me since this is labeled lyrics? lol none the less i’m in love with this.
tearmeapart reviewed Version 1 -
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Very cute and whimsical at times, the notes you left helped me appreciate it more.it has a certain youthful naivete but offset by some very good language.
I really like the feel of it.
cooljim102055 reviewed Version 1 -
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hi there,
read your lyric and found it interesting , with a sad twist at the end..like a good short story, this seems a bit to long for a song..try singing it for 3 minutes.(you have a line being sad that you NEVER TALKED, and that she’ll never be your WIFE?..lol..i know i’m being critical and sound insenitive but you have to develop a relationship with this person to have the sad tragedy to have a true effect..(just my opinions)..good luck
Mario007 reviewed Version 1 -
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To your goals…I don’t know how you want to publish a book out of this, so maybe you want to specify the goal there.
I liked your lyrics very much. Its really creative for something that just came to you during your Physics class. I like those kind of moments when the Muse just strucks and you just can’t stop writing.
I like the chorus and especially the mention of an imaginary father is very nice way of potraying your likeness towards that ‘girl’.
The ending struck me and suprised me very much. I like it a lot and I the last line especially was just a bomb dropper. I can see the music stopping there and suddenly for the end of the song. A sudden stop to emphisize the impact.
rdoty reviewed Version 1 -
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Dear Writer,
This is an interesting take of something inspired by a faulty contact. I think it is good and it tells a really strong story.
Musically, what had you envisioned for this piece? It could easily go country or rock. The lyrics are kind of cheeky in a way so if I were to hear it rock I’d definitely hear a Nickelback/Chad Kroger kind of thing, (these are the types of themes he typically likes to play with).
It would be interesting to know what you were hearing when you decided this was a lyric.
Nice piece, depressing story but that’s music.
Cheers!
R
Bernadine215 reviewed Version 1 -
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I like your poem hope to read more of your work. Stop by and read my poetry, peace.
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