Lyrics / :*(onfusion
My dreams are never reality
Though I wish hard for them to be
That would end this brutality
That has consumed all of me
As confused as the riddle I ask
I wander around in a daze
All the time trying to mask
That I am trapped in a maze
CHORUS:
Confusion! It lives inside me!
Every thought of every day
Just dreaming to go away
Confusion! It lives inside me!
Why cant i see all i feel
Why cant i feel what is real
I’m trying to take all of my shots
All in the dark and far away
I try to confront the problem
With the question of Why
Not at all to trouble em
But only so I don’t cry
CHORUS
The questions I ask of the rain
Ones like “why do we die ?”
“Why do you bring pain ?”
“Why do we cry ?”
All in order to understand
What life has to give
The answer I can’t stand
That life is only to live
Have I lived a past life ?
‘Cuz I’m not living this one
Walking on a double-edged knife
Careful not to run
CHORUS
Living barely within the rules
And for that I cry
Good and evil in me duels
And the blood on my hands is dry
A feeling in me that I’ve been jipped
Dealt a fixed hand
My wings unwillingly clipped
All justice for me is banned
Confusion kills me! Rips me! Beats me!
Confusion keeps me! Haunts me! Hurts me!
Confusion lulls me! Lives me! Loves me!
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I get the message, believe me I do, but I’ve never been much of a fan of abstract lyrics unless the use of metaphorical imagery is heavy. I can’t say that for this peice. It’s not bad by any means, just not really my flavor.
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I like this for the most part.
These lines didn’t work for me:
“Walking on a double-edged knife
Careful not to run”
Not sure what to suggest to improve, though I get your point.
Also in this:
“All justice for me is banned”
Maybe replace “All justice” with “Freedom” ?
Hope this helps!
The first verse has an excellent rhythm to it.
Then I got to the chorus.
The first half isn’t too bad.
The second half is where you lost me.
The second verse seems like it was just a filler.
I do this sometimes as well, where you start off with a solid idea, then you kinda lose it as it gets spread thin over the song.
The beginning of the third verse/bridge seems to keep on just filling until it gets to the second half when things get stronger. From here it induced a wondering in me. I especially like the follow-up line, “Careful not to run.” I think it played well off the previous line.
The third/fourth verse is my favorite out of the whole song. It’s the most solid, declarative, and has the best imagery. Very good job. Only thing I suggest is dropping the word “is” from the fourth line, as to keep the rhythm that you had already set from the line before.
Depending on how the ending is done would make or break it, so I’ll leave it uncommented.
The thing I really didn’t care for was the chorus. It seems bland compared to the rest of the song which, overall, seemed great. It’s just the repetition of that one bland piece that would sink it in my opinion.
i really didn’t find it amusing… good song though.. i can see some one like arial black or Atryu singing this
hi there,
well it’s nice to see some real song structure, and songwriting craftsmanship in a lyric, with your v/c/v/c and consistent rhyming pattern throughout,(not to mention it’s a GOOD lyric without the “f” word, with all the blood and violence etc.) i’m not old fashion or a prude but i appreciate a good clean song..and you wrote one,nice,nice,job..:)..jim
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