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Flash Fiction / A Letter from Guernica (Analysis)
Guernica Herman writes a letter from an open-air café in the Basque town that bears her name. Her parents, both art students, met at a Picasso exhibition in New York City in 1981. Two years later, they christened baby G. in a small Lutheran chapel on Dundas Street, where she wailed out her staccato protests and managed to hit every high note of “Oh Holy Spirit, enter in.” Since childhood she’d identified herself only by the letter G., as a way to deny her infamous name.
From the café, smoke from her cigarette rises up in columns, dissipating over the red clay rooftops. She sucks on the end of her pen, searching for the right words to explain her actions to her fiancé, David: why she left suddenly, without a word, to fly off to Spain. Instead, she describes the farms and meadows of the Urdaibai estuary, how they become high cliff and salt marsh before vanishing into the deep blue of the Bay of Biscay.
Life with David was pleasant enough. He was caring and sweet, ever reliable, as the gentle breeze nudging at leaves outside their condominium window; and the sex, well, that had expired in fits and starts over the previous year. She expected love’s wane, even accepted it. However, the emotional vacuum that followed unsettled her, edging her toward indifference. They had become roommates.
Early that morning, while strolling along the paved avenues, she came, quite by chance, upon a tiled wall covered by Picasso’s famous painting, the one that had inspired her parents to conceive her. The painting was all grey tones, devoid of colour. In the middle, a terrified horse – run through by a spear and a charging bull – horrified her. She cupped her hands around her mouth to stifle a gasp. Below, a flower sprouted from the broken sword of a dead soldier, his arm hacked in two, and above, a floating woman held out a lamp. Overcome by sadness, she sobbed uncontrollably, covering her eyes with her palms to stem her tears. She couldn’t explain the sudden rush of sorrow. She had wanted to tell David about that, too.
Now, she sits in the café alone, surrounded by balled up letters. She crumples up the half-written letter and tosses it next to the others. In the courtyard, an old man feeds pigeons, spreading breadcrumbs on the cobblestones. High above, where green hills meet open sky, a jet contrail forms a cloud. One day, all of this would be gone – this café, that old man – even her own presence would vanish; memory and meaning fade. Permanence was an illusion.
The waiter brings her coffee, setting it down next to her. When he tries to gather up her papers, she stops him, saying, she wants to remember what it’s like to rebuild from the rubble. He nods, then leaves her to her writing.
Finally, she writes a simple note that explains nothing. With God’s grace, sometimes love’s wane is inexplicable.
Goodbye, David. Guernica.
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squarehopper reviewed Version 1 -
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This was well written, I found.
I have to admit that I read it several times before. I finally bit the bullet and looked up Guernica.
Although it is pretty, the line about the meadows and such seems not to belong. Even if you are trying to set up a contradiction, it didn’t work for me. That is because you didn’t really set it against anything similar. I would remove it or have something to it play against… maybe a traffic jam at the street adjecent to the cafe?
Guernica the lady is rebellious seeking something more exciting(?). Guernica the painting is also rebellious seeking comprehension and abhorrance for violence and war. Nice contrast.
I like this. I am sorry I don’t have much more to offer you.
I am on a reviewing friends rampage right now.
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madriter1022 reviewed Version 1 -
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Love hurts. I though this was a wonderful piece. Narrative flow and description were beautiful. I can almost feel her pain. I didn’t derect any errors in grammar or spelling.
These sentences seems long. Consider making two more than one sentence out of them.-
Two years later, they christened baby G. in a small Lutheran chapel on Dundas Street, where she wailed out her staccato protests and managed to hit every high note of “Oh Holy Spirit, enter in.”
She sucks on the end of her pen, searching for the right words to explain her actions to her fiancé, David: why she left suddenly, without a word, to fly off to Spain.
burnvictim reviewed Version 1 -
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It’s pretty good. The character study is a bit incomplete, and I can’t really fully connect the implications of what she feels from the painting with how she feels about leaving David. But I enjoyed it, and it’s very well written. Reminds me, somewhat, of my recent bad, inexplicable breakup. But I was David, so I can’t give you any specific things to include from G.’s perspective. Good luck.
AngelRain reviewed Version 1 -
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The story is lovely. Wish you would go more into depth about her thoughts after she saw the painting that inspired her parents to conceive her. Maybe depict the sadness and misunderstanding more. Other than that, I’ve never heard permanent used in that context. It reminds me of the quote that goes something like “Nothing gold can stay,” but I don’t think it captures the feeling of disappointment in the fact that nothing lasts forever.
Well-written and loved the ending.
seriousfem reviewed Version 1 -
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There are lots of good things to talk about. The author is taking on a tough genre and making good progress.
I suppose it’s understood by most people that the opening paragraph of a story, and most especially a flash fiction piece, is weighted heavily in significance. You want this section to grab attention and interest and go as far as possible in setting down that fabled contract between reader and author. That is, the first paragraph should, if possible, introduce the personality of the main character, put her in a solid setting, and go a fair bit into telling us what the story is going to be about.
I’m not sure what’s going on in the first paragraph of “A Letter from Guernica.” We are introduced to some circumstances of the character, but nothing that is very revealing about her. I find that I want to know what she’s like. However, it is a good early draft, important in helping the writer figure out who her character is and what she wants.
Some things are stretching imagination, and border on goofy. Watch for things that don’t add up…like why would a woman named Guernica be old enough to live with a lover and never see Picasso’s “Guernica” before? She or her parents would have to be total cultural illiterates, which wouldn’t fit their meeting at a Picasso show in NYC. A gasp seems melodramatic to someone who was familiar with the piece and the sadness doesn’t fit with what emotions that painting would likely bring up. If I were doing a similar piece, I’d look at some critiques of that piece by good art critics and see what others have said about it. Even Wikipedia might be a good start.
When she talk to the waiter, something bugs me about that part. I see that it gives her a chance to talk about rebuilding from rubble, but it’s awkward. I would find another way of getting that message across.
Storytelling with the prohibitive length of flash fiction is hard. I applaud your having the guts to take it on.
You do one thing brilliantly, and that is paint the scenes of your characters with a bold stroke. Without getting weighed down in detail, you give a strong visual dose, and that can be the difference between success and failure in a piece. Bravo!
Good luck!
drbailey reviewed Version 1 -
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Hello Writer,
Let me prime this critique by stating I love Guernica. A print of the painting lies in a storage shed right now, due to my current lack of walls as I move from one home to another. I’m certain it will hang near me again, soon (as it probally does with ten thousand other dorky would-be art boys).
Your pace is excellent in this piece, and perhaps the first thing I noted. We begin with young Guernica in a cafe and effortlessly head forward and backward in time and place. It’s important for you to take note of that strength, as many writers have a difficult time with it.
I would have liked, in a composition composed of such rich descriptions, to have some malleable, physical characteristics of both Guernica and David. I want to be able to feel something solid with my eyes, even if it’s nothing more than a quirky physical characteristic or something of that nature. This could be a preference of my mental vision though (which is poor and in need of glasses at times), and perhaps nothing really important.
Your seamless flow of Guernica’s descriptions of the landscape really add a dimension of interest for the reader. They are beautiful and I can smell many of the olfactory sensations (cigs, coffee, wild flowers in the hills, old men.. well maybe not that one…) because of this physical tangibility.
There are some places that you use he and her a lot. This might be something you wish to look at. Examples: first line of the third to last paragraph/line, the paragraph before that. I’m not sure what you can do to change this, except to play to the flow a little. I have the same problem and im sure many others do. It’s because we’re so use to describing actions in real life with the words.
Finally, story mechanic wise, I love the use of Guernica in a failed love. As if that particular love were a war. I can relate with the feelings Guernica is going through, having had girlfriends and being drafted as a soldier in the same ‘war’. It can be an ugly, painful thing, much like Guernica (both painting and person).
Hope any of this stream of conscious helps in your thought process while writing or revising.
Enjoyed,
D.R.
daedalus reviewed Version 1 -
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I could give one of those uneducated reviews that run rampant throughout this website, but I’ll suffice to say I enjoyed your writing, even if I don’t think the massacre at Guernica, one of manevil’s greatest atrocities, should be compared to a failed relationship. It trivializes the horrors of war.
Still, I’m impressed with what you were able to do with so few words, and the language you use – lots of imagery, the proverbial “show, don’t tell” so many who claim to be writers forget.
How I long to be at that same cafe right at this moment.
GreenIguana reviewed Version 1 -
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You spend too much time explaining. I would leave the personal history until later in the story (how she got the name Guernica). Actually though I think you could write this story without calling the character Guernica. It isn’t necessary.
I think you are trying to draw a parallel between the collapse of a love affair and the destruction of war. It’s a bit of a stretch to compare the end of an affair with hideous death and destruction. Perhaps you should focus more on the parallel between the rebuilt town and recovery from the destroyed love affair. I didn’t understand the character’s comment about her papers. Is it that she wants to meditate on her crumpled up papers as a way of thinking about a rebuilt future? Why not just meditate on the town that survived? Instead she’s meditating on litter. I don’t think it works. I think you have a good idea here but the story needs some reconstruction!
Sharon reviewed Version 1 -
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Wow! You have a great way with words. I love the way you detail the cafe and describe the smoke and her thoughts as she sits. I can identify with your character with her mixed up emotions. You describe her thought process very well. If I had one complaint (and I always do) it would be that I would have liked to have read a few details about Guernica’s physical appearance. Is she a stunning beauty in her mid-twenties with long, wavy black hair and giant loop earrings? Does she wear minimal jewelry and a flowing multi-colored dress? Little details like that would help the reader get a solid picture of what they’re reading. The end was kind of cold with that short, non-reasoning letter, but it fit. Good luck with it, I think you did a great job.
malapropist reviewed Version 1 -
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Nice style, solid writing. What doesn’t work, for me, is that the middle of the piece pretty much finalizes the end of the relationship, which then limits how much impact the final paragraph of the story has. She’s thought it out, accepted it, and has become “indifferent” (or near to it). I prefer fiction that isn’t emotionally settled until at least the end, if not later.
I’m also not sure how her being named Guernica and her being in Guernica have anything to do with the story you’re telling. A woman named Guernica writing a latter to someone from Guernica is interesting, but you don’t follow it through with anything, so it becomes detail that matters little to the story.
Why does she want to be called G instead of Guernica? Why, then, would she even go there? Why does she want to tell David about the painting if she’s indifferent? You don’t have to answer all these questions, obviously, but they were raised as I was reading. The first two pulled me out of the story and annoyed me, so it’s something to think about during revision.
The painting is interesting, as is her reaction and her wanting to tell David about it. You have more possibility for original emotional content and to flesh out their relationship than the rather traditional approach you take describing the death of their relationship (how many times have you heard of relationships slowly dying, the sex drying up, the people “becoming roommates”? That particular line is cliched…)
The writing is solid. I think you have a story in here, but you need to write more to get through the details that you’re wanting to include and then figure out what the heart of your story is and then pare back for your short short. Good luck.
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