Poetry / Sing Angel (Analysis)

Go sit near the piano
Let me see your colors and textures as music
Take your place in the rainbow
Fly like a flock of doves (in)
Choral sunlight
Radiate visions (of)
Peace and hopefulness
Let us praise the woman of life

Take that cup of cool water
Offer it to me
Sing in a chorus of angels joyfully alive
Stand in the sun
You are radiant truth (my lady)

Take down that book of poems and hold it near your heart (sweetness)
Join gentle history made for lovers
Earth’s precious produce
Touch poor hearts
Release their light (sweet princess)
Take away this man’s binding scars
With healing grace
the pasts pain – potent
Drain remorse
my beauty
My sweet harpist in silk and sighs

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NightRainbow avatar General Stranger

July 22, 2008

NightRainbow

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NightRainbow reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

The vision evoked by this is intriguing.  I can picture a scene immediately and my emotion is fed.  Very well done.

AquaDad18 avatar General Stranger

July 21, 2008

AquaDad18

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
AquaDad18 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I like the tone and imagery.  There’s beauty in it.
Not sure about how it begins with a piano and ends with harpist.  They are both stringed instruments though.  I don’t understand “Earth’s precious produce.”  I’m not sure why you have words in parentheses, but I almost like that, as if it were said under one’s breath by someone in awe (except for “of” and “in”).  Maybe they’re corrections?  The metaphors jump around a bit.
I can’t put my finger on it, I definitely like what you’re reaching for.  So, keep at it!

eminemslove85 avatar General Stranger

July 19, 2008

eminemslove85

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eminemslove85 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I read ur pieace, I thought it was very beautyful and I think you could go somewhere with this poem.

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inkstained avatar

inkstained

Age: 56
Loc: Blaine, WA
Gen: M
Last Login: August 13
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