Short Story / The Singer

hi there,

very good, very good…:)....me too!.....jim

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July 21, 2008

by nelson1

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39	F	United Kingdom	December 04

yep. I know. since your a lyricist:)

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dear Creator,
this is a very concept indeed…I too am an artist and definitely “bare my soul in harmony.” as well…good luck in this opportunity…

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July 21, 2008

by nelson1

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39	F	United Kingdom	December 04

:)

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Great sentiment – but do you really need to waste 15% of it on “I”? I think it could be stronger without it.

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July 21, 2008

by nelson1

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39	F	United Kingdom	December 04

I, is used because. the story is about my hobby of singing, and the release it gives me

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A nice way of putting it.  Your soul is expressed in your song.  To be really good in any art, one must bare one’s soul and not be afraid to have it seen, heard, read, experienced.  Something to remember.

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July 21, 2008

by nelson1

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39	F	United Kingdom	December 04

Thank-you for the review

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Mellifluous, but I wonder if its needs a few more words to complete the thought. In harmony with what?

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July 21, 2008

by nelson1

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39	F	United Kingdom	December 04

I sing harmony lines in a barbershop chorus. Could you tell me the meaning of the word mellifluos thank-you

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that explains so much in so few words. sweet.

I like this because it sounds like someone who expresses themself best through their voice.

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July 21, 2008

by nelson1

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39	F	United Kingdom	December 04

Spot on. Thanks

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I might suggest replacing ‘in’ with ‘through’, but otherwise nice job and good luck. :)

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July 21, 2008

by nelson1

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39	F	United Kingdom	December 04

Good point. Thankyou

October 29, 2008

by Blue_Eyes

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32	M	Weedsport, NY	December 05

You’re welcome. :)

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Unfortunately, without the artwork to connect this too, it seems to lose meaning and with only 6 words it is very difficult to grasp what you are being in harmony with.  It is left unanswered.  I would suggest a change of the last word ‘harmony’ to another word which gives more meaning and understanding.

plays to the hearts of poets, lyricists, and singers all. most can relate to this. good job. LATER

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July 21, 2008

by nelson1

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
1425	78.7% (291 votes)	69.3%

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39	F	United Kingdom	December 04

Thanks for the review

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