Poetry / Frozen in this moment by your words so cold and clear

pencil written blurred by  tears tho’ the words were not unknown

tear drops fall ,mind goes numb, its so cold when all alone

frozen in this moment by your words so cold and clear

mind is trapped soul is lost can’t face tomorrows fear

desperate thoughts of memories blurred and far from here

in my mind,”I love you baby” is all I want to hear

the cracks and crevices of my heart,a map of broken dreams

the more i try to find true love the more foolish that it seems

©SMRB

Reviews

July 20, 2008

Gardenia

personal info reviewer stats

No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
49	52.6% (19 votes)	21.7%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
32	F	Pontiac, IL	August 18

Gardenia reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I like the line pencil written blurred by tears tho’ the words were not unknown.

I tend to not like to repeat words in poetry unless it is for impact, so I would change the line it’s so cold when all alone to it’s so dreary when all alone, since you use cold again in the next line.

Good job of telling the story of lost love and disillusionment.

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