Quotes / Stimulate my senses

OK. You have conflicting statements here. One is about craving (passion), the other about indifference (apathy). This shows a wide range of emotions in the writer’s life.

I would have liked to feel the presence of a subject here.

For a different twist how about using the word “dissolves” ?

The word depletes doesn’t work for me. It sounds forced, like you are purposefully trying to think of some fancy word to use. Keep it simple. The emotion you are portraying is one known to lots of writers. The need to always be inspired, to always work and write lest you waste away into nothing.  So the clarity is there.

I like what you are trying to say, but i’m sorry, that word just irks me!

nice use of words. its decent a bit interesting. i think its good you worked to make it better and changed a word am i like really feeling it no but is it alright yes

Is that your life or mine you’re talking about? ;-)
I really like this sentiment, and the words you’ve used to express it. Very poetic.

I like the sonics of this, the consonance of constantly craving and the assonance of enervates existence.  I’m thinking that’s why you chose those last two, because they certainly don’t seem like the best two words to convey your emotions here.

I think that more than inspiration I crave recognition.  And I wonder if the indifference you refer to isn’t alluding to the same thing.  Are you sure your tank of inspiration is what needs to be topped off?

This is confusing to me.  Even the title, an invitation for someone, the reader? to stimulate your senses.  I don’t need someone else to do that.  I can go for a walk and smell cedar trees or fresh laundry, hear birds chirping, dogs barking, lawn mowers buzzing, children laughing at play.  

Yup.  I guess I’m just confused.  Sorry, but

best of luck with it,

Dave

I think these 6 words are very original and have a very good chance of being selected. This person has described myself, as well as several other aspiring writers. Very well done.

I like the first line, the second line, I had to look up the meaning of enervates, just to be sure of what you were saying. It’s clear, but as a quote, it’s a little fuzzy. When I think of quotes, I usually think of something that easily sticks in the mind, that people can understand. I hope you found this helpful.

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July 21, 2008

by WanderingVerse

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
34	78.9% (19 votes)	35.8%

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25	M	United Kingdom	November 26

Thank you for your review, most people have raised the same point so I have changed the word enervates and posted a second version, I would like to know what you think of it.

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It is a good sound, and it is true, as well as inspiring, but the average person has no idea what enervate means even though it is perfect for the quote.
     Another thing, the first part does not seem to go with the second.  As written, they do not seem to relate.
     Good luck.

A smidge hypocritical:
if you are ‘constantly craving inspiration’
how can there be a ‘lack of interest’ ruining your art?
Or is it to be a reminder?
Either way I did enjoy the piece very much.
Many times I find conflicting verses within my own pieces as often times I feel conflicted in my thoughts and or feelings toward whatever I might be writing about at the present time. However, I think the magazine contest is interested in us expressing a factual expression of our lives as artists so then eliminating the possibility of conflict, unless of course yours has been conflicted. LOL ok so my criticism seems without ground…
Please disregard but read & understand my critique as I thought it out completely  written out for you.  

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July 20, 2008

by WanderingVerse

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No. of Reviews	Overall Quality	Comment Followup
34	78.9% (19 votes)	35.8%

Age	Gender	Location	Last Login
25	M	United Kingdom	November 26

Thank you for your review, I must admit I am quite a conflicted person, my heart constantly craves inspiration but I often struggle to find it. I think this piece is subconsciously about dealing with depression and how as much as you might some times long for something it is often hard to follow it up when you are feeling down. For me indifference is a product of depression and being in a state of depression results in a depleted existence. I’m getting fed up of writing depressing & self-centred work so I crave the ability to change my outlook some times.  I’m working on it thought and getting better.

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I like the change.  It reflects the verb crave in a complete way.  Good work!