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Flash Fiction / Six Word Memoir
Darkness inside, fog outside, regret everywhere.
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krganapathy reviewed Version 1 -
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destiny, Histroy, future begins with oneself
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risenphoenix reviewed Version 1 -
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This is dark and painful.
diabolico reviewed Version 1 -
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I like the mood that this sets, very melancholy and dreary. The only criticism I can give is that so many of the six word memoirs are that same melancholy and dreariness. Still pretty good though.
Charley_Groth reviewed Version 1 -
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This says to me that the writer is bewildered. Life no longer makes sense and they have given in to feelings that life is pure chaos and circumstance. The “regret everywhere” is a little vague but this is a statement for pondering and it brings to mind, someone who wishes life had turned out different or cannot forgive themselves for something they did in the past. I thought that darkness and fog gave way to illumination in some form, that is if you are looking to seal it up like that.
Corruptedstatic reviewed Version 1 -
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How dark and poetic. The writer really creates a kind of morbid atmosphere with little words. “Darkness inside, fog outside” I really liked and felt that they connected together. “regret everywhere” I feel was kind of thrown into there or if not; I don’t feel the connection between the dark and regret. How does darkness and fog represent regret or how are they similiar to regret? When I regret it is because I feel guilty for not doing the exact opposite of what I did and I don’t understand how for or darkness can represent that. Unless your saying that this darkness and fog are a result of bad choices and regret is the end result of how you feel. So instead the writer is putting the outside forces (darkness,fog) and making them internal and putting the internal forces (regret) and making it external by saying it’s everywhere. Hmm… Now I like this piece. Good Job and Good Luck. :)
MissMenagerie reviewed Version 1 -
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Last two seem a little redundant after the first four. Good idea, though. Maybe play around with the ending (if a part of six words can be called an ending)? I think it’s the number of syllables in ‘everywhere’ throwing me off. It’s probably just me, anyway. Still, good job.
Temi reviewed Version 1 -
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I really liked this. It was one of the few 6 word poems that actually stuck out to me. ‘Regret everywhere’ is really strong.
blondy1834 reviewed Version 1 -
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Sounds like you were/are in a really dark place. This is so simple, yet it says so much.
Dexus reviewed Version 1 -
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Very Poe-esque. I like it, though it is very ambiguous. Doesn’t paint a clear picture, but 6 words rarely can. I can’t think of any suggestions to make it more clear, so well done :)
haley_b reviewed Version 1 -
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Gosh, it says a lot in the amount of words required. Confusion within you, hopelessness before you, and regrets because of this confusion and frustration. I like how you started inside yourself and then worked out toward a bigger picture. (Inside, outside, everywhere.)
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