hmm..well…thank you. I will keep writing. :) I’m sorry you didn’t get it! But it is something that has happened in my life (if ur interested,read my previous comments) and it does concern my writing. “It” is about a person being unable to see alone – do you know what you’d see without other people influencing your life? Much much less! And then everything you wrote about would not be understood by other people.. So without others’ eyes all our poetry is useless :)
Poetry / Six Words Knifed In To Heart
How to see
without others’ eyes?
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It’s interesting that you used six words for the title, and six words in the poem. It’s an interesting question to ask but I wonder if you could make a detailed poem with this as the theme?
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Well that’s kind of a sad thought. =/
hi there,
i read ur piece and i thought u could do better then u did. i read it and re-read it and still didnt know what you were talking about. ur piece wasnt clear to me it was very unclear and didnt really make sense in my eyes. next time write more clearer or write about something that has happend in ur life in 6 words and see where that takes you. but keep witing, it might do u some good to change about what u write.
I like this one, found it poetic. It echoes the status of the writer, being alone staring at the world from one’s own ivory tower but still needing people for a different point of view, maybe even seeking for truth cause appearances can be deceitful. it also made me think about how blind one can be who tries to write about people when they’re not around him. Moreover, what’s the point to see if you’re the only left on earth. Without people, is there anything left to see? hence the power of the writer, embodying people and living their lives and feeling with all their five senses. That’s cool.
TJK
Hmmmm, I have to say I like this one very much because it taps into the connectivity we share with each other. It de-centralizes our own vision and makes us realize that we are a part of the “other”. I like the way you’re using language and playing with that dichotomous view.
Great job—one of the best I’ve read (#2) in my book
wow. this is very deep.
it’s interesting that some people cannot acknowledge that they do, in fact, care what others think. also, your poem implies your understanding that there are infinite perceptions of the world – not only one’s own perception. (i have studied social psychology…).
i think your memoir may also represent you as an intelligent person who has good insight into your raw, instincual needs for human contact…don’t know if this is what you meant to convey. it also says to me that you are mature & wise, experienced.
i hope other readers/reviewers receive this as well as i do: it could unfortunately be received as self-consciousness, inconfidence, or shallowness; however, i think the questionmark at the end indicates otherwise. perhaps you are more innocent, recognizing that you don’t know all, & feeling vulnerable about the idea that others are constantly perceiving YOU.
i LOVE it! and i’m new to urbis, so if this wasn’t helpful i’m sorry. i don’t have much constructive criticism, but this really made me think. i’m intrigued!
I really loved this. It really made me think for a bit and it gets a nice message across.
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