Poetry / Six Words Knifed In To Heart

How to see
without others’ eyes?

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Moons_sprite avatar General Friend

September 02, 2008

Moons_sprite

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Moons_sprite reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

It’s interesting that you used six words for the title, and six words in the poem. It’s an interesting question to ask but I wonder if you could make a detailed poem with this as the theme?

JessicaBrynJ avatar General Stranger

August 13, 2008

JessicaBrynJ

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JessicaBrynJ reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Well that’s kind of a sad thought. =/

eminemslove85 avatar General Stranger

July 25, 2008

eminemslove85

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eminemslove85 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

hi there,

i read ur piece and i thought u could do better then u did. i read it and re-read it and still didnt know what you were talking about. ur piece wasnt clear to me it was very unclear and didnt really make sense in my eyes. next time write more clearer or write about something that has happend in ur life in 6 words and see where that takes you. but keep witing, it might do u some good to change about what u write.

Judes avatar General Stranger

July 23, 2008

Judes

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Judes reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I like this one, found it poetic. It echoes the status of the writer, being alone staring at the world from one’s own ivory tower but still needing people for a different point of view, maybe even seeking for truth cause appearances can be deceitful. it also made me think about how blind one can be who tries to write about people when they’re not around him. Moreover, what’s the point to see if you’re the only left on earth. Without people, is there anything left to see? hence the power of the writer, embodying people and living their lives and feeling with all their five senses. That’s cool.

TJK

HMStocker avatar General Stranger

July 23, 2008

HMStocker

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HMStocker reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Hmmmm, I have to say I like this one very much because it taps into the connectivity we share with each other. It de-centralizes our own vision and makes us realize that we are a part of the “other”. I like the way you’re using language and playing with that dichotomous view.

Great job—one of the best I’ve read (#2) in my book

rumblebee avatar General Stranger

July 23, 2008

rumblebee

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
rumblebee reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

wow. this is very deep.

it’s interesting that some people cannot acknowledge that they do, in fact, care what others think. also, your poem implies your understanding that there are infinite perceptions of the world – not only one’s own perception. (i have studied social psychology…).

i think your memoir may also represent you as an intelligent person who has good insight into your raw, instincual needs for human contact…don’t know if this is what you meant to convey. it also says to me that you are mature & wise, experienced.

i hope other readers/reviewers receive this as well as i do: it could unfortunately be received as self-consciousness, inconfidence, or shallowness; however, i think the questionmark at the end indicates otherwise. perhaps you are more innocent, recognizing that you don’t know all, & feeling vulnerable about the idea that others are constantly perceiving YOU.

i LOVE it! and i’m new to urbis, so if this wasn’t helpful i’m sorry. i don’t have much constructive criticism, but this really made me think. i’m intrigued!

Dream_Writer avatar General Stranger

July 23, 2008

Dream_Writer

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Dream_Writer reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I really loved this. It really made me think for a bit and it gets a nice message across.

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evgenia avatar

evgenia

Age: 23
Loc: United States
Gen: F
Last Login: December 03
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