Short Story / Six Word Memoir: This Life (Analysis)

I don’t like reviewing these because as they’re so short the detail has to be so tight and so reviews seem overly cruel.  I’m not being deliberately harsh, it’s just so magnified.  What I don’t like about this is the phrase “cleaning up”... it seems too simple to me in contrast to the vast concept of tidying a father’s mistakes, if you know what I mean?  I hope this is helpful, I don’t mean it to be harsh!

Nice vocabulary! Tells a tale with so few words! I like it. You might lose a bit of your audiences with dalliances, but I wouldn’t change it if I were you.

Actually created about three-hundred and forty-two mental images. Which is fantastic. I guess if I had to offer criticism, I’d say, try to find some shorter synonyms? One of the great things about the original ‘For sale: Baby shoes’ is that it didn’t try to stretch six words into a thousand syllables. But that’s just critique ‘cause I’m supposed ‘ta. Good one.