Poetry / Six Word Memoir Entry 2

The passive honestly this has hurts me in the tummy.
but the good kind of hurt, like “oh.. that explains me”
but i feel like i already knew this at the same time. If you had more to elaborate this, i could understand the message.

This memoir made me smile. It has some quirks to it, and it’s also a lovely statement. Good word choices.

As a suggestion, perhaps experiment with an ellipsis to connect the two words to the other four; it might make the statement as a whole more effective.

i read ur 6 word memior and it thought it was pretty good, i didnt really like it cuz i didnt really understand what u were trying to say or what the subject was about. next u write think hard and long be4 u start to write that way u can make sense and alot of people will like ur work alot better.

Love it!  We can be clever when we write though huh?  That’s all that counts, forget functioning in the real world!  LOL  Good job.

Nice – but I think it would be stronger as one sentence without the break

“Clever except when it really counts.”

Just my opinion, I like it a lot as is but I’m seeing a lot of semi-colons, colons, and dashes in these six word entries and I think ultimately a lot will not be chosen for that reason.

Best,
Robin

This line is very true, but I wouldn’t choose it for Smith magazine. I Just don’t se it as a memoir, more of a quote or a description.
Good try though.