Poetry / Wicked Schemes

The work has been carefully considered. The stanzas are clean and easily read. The flow is good. The poem is of course metaphoric. A poem like this can mean many things to many people. Here is my interpretation. One is faced with making a decision. The decision maker is offered the chance to tell a lie or the truth. The decision is up to the teller and  no one else. The lie comes hard but is finally executed. The liar will go to his grave as the only one who knows what the truth is. I will not use up credits. This is a very fine job. You do well with metaphor. Respectfully, Sandi.

i admire some of the wordplay here. seems of reason is a good visual and textual image at the same time. pendulums swinging fast are another good use of imagery.
good ideas mixed with visuals too, especially definitions suspended with a guillotine. and the dropping of information to clear out misconceptions.

my only critique is that you didn’t keep a consistent rhyme scheme, which really doesn’t bother me a bit, but others might take issue with it.

one other thing: this could be open to many different ideas as far as what you’re actually referring to with this poem. why not use the title to make it more clear what inspired you to write this? that’s the only thing that’ll keep me from remembering this poem, the fact that I don’t have a solid image tied to an idea in my mind. good work though.

This poem wouldn’t be one of the few I’d label as my absolute favorite, but what I did enjoy was the in line rhyming of “Confusion CREEPS into SEAMS” “Pendulums swing FAST PAST” etc. I was enjoying that up until I saw the off balance in the second stanza. If you establish this type of rhyming it should be consistent throughout. Just now I’ve seen a few lines in the second that involve that rhyming it just isn’t as apparent as in the first stanza. I understood the poem in its entirety but to a casual reader I’d think they need more clarity in the line “teem at the top of guillotines”—maybe look at that line again?

Well done, you highlight how it was so very wrong that so many necks were placed on block for wrongs not committed after having been fitted up by some deceiptful soul.  Just make sure you spell check  your writes, it would be such a shame for such a piece too fall to one side for spelling? Title fits well and draws the reader – well thought out!

The first stance is like various words just stuck together, making no sense, to me at least.  Second stance you have some misplaced commas, or missing altogether.  

nothing but possible plans, – comma not needed after plans

cold, cutting, sterling steel. – cold, cutting, sterling

I liked this piece quite a bit. It painted a picture in my mind and was very vivid, it’s creepy and sticks to you after reading due to the cruel nature of the ‘wicked schemes.’ I actually found myself wishing that the piece was a bit longer, despite it having a good ending, merely because I craved more of its strange nature.

Nitpick: don’t start this off with Wicked Schemes. It is a wonderful title and shows that you are a matured writer. Many writers include their titles within the poem. Which is bothersome. If you want to I’d put it in the line
after “plans.”

Your structure/form is spot on. 2 condensed stanzas. No rhyme but repetitive “Ss’”. Nice touch.

You have near rhyme of seams/reasons in 1st stz, but don’t repeat that in the 2nd stz. Having near rhyme in 2nd stz. would help with cadence

Nuance of “do/drop” “Dew Drop.” very nice.

I appreciate this poem because I can tell you have done many revisions. The alike sounds of ” blazing, blades, cold cutting, sterling steel,” propel the meaning.

Ok subject/theme this is toughest for the reviewer: one reason for rejection is I’m having difficulty defining a subject/theme: it is abstract, and I publish poetry heavy on imagery. “Sterling steel,” is nice.

I am giving high rankings, because if this came across my desk, I would have paid attention and gave it to an editor, because of the revisions, stanza construct, near rhyme and alliteration.

Well I hope I helped. Plz. msg. or comment.
Blessings, Gbryan

OMG! This is such an amazing poem. The word usage and the flow match so wonderfully. Its amazing that you could string words like this, in this specific order. Can you please tell me the inspiration, I would love to know? Kudos much. This is going into my favorites.

Wow. I really like your sound: “teem at the top of guillotines” is a great line. You have other wonderful ones as well…”Execustion of illusions”

Overall the poem hisses at us, reinforcing that sense of darkness. With the evolution of truth in this poem, I wonder if that sound shouldn’t fall away a bit? Unless…you don’t like the truth, which seems more ‘right’ for this piece.

The last stanza gets a bit forced in the rhyme, but if you’ve read any of my reviews you know that I’m not a huge fan of rhyme. I do think you do a great job with sound and that rhyme will NOT make this poem trite.