Poetry / Six Word Acrostic

Words, Ringing In The Ears, Recorded

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starla77 avatar General Stranger

August 26, 2008

starla77

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
starla77 reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I like the idea of sound: “Ringing”, “Ears”, “Recorded”, but I detect something wrong in it. I mean,reading your words, I had the impression of something disturbing in your ears, (a ring is insistent and disturbing),something tormenting you that much that you had to write them down. The repetitive sound of the letter “R” is harsh and underlines this idea too.
I don’t know, if you meant this, it’s a good job, but my idea of writing is more like words whispered or sung to my ears, something sweeter like a music, so I can’t really connect with your six words.

SMRB avatar General Stranger

August 21, 2008

SMRB

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SMRB reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Not sure i follow this.But the direction seems to be one that progresses from words to music that rings in the ears from practicing to finally being recorded, as in being paid for it. If this is correct than this is good.If i’m wrong than I have no clue where this goes.

lookingbeyond avatar General Stranger

August 09, 2008

lookingbeyond

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lookingbeyond reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

I like this very much , seems to have a multi meaning involved with it

could be recorded by someones memory , like maybe a break up ..

with harsh words having a serious effect on someone..

or could be a killer song lyric  at a studio ..

kudos

your friend
Lookingbeyond

hypatia avatar General Stranger

August 08, 2008

hypatia Prolific-icon-medium

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hypatia reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

And they normally ring just as you are dropping off to sleep.
Your six words do sum up the creative life. I like the use of Capitals to separate each sentiment. Wishing you success. Perhaps, you could add a period at the end.

BlueDemoness avatar General Stranger

August 08, 2008

BlueDemoness

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
BlueDemoness reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

It’s definitely succinct and full of meaning.  I like RECORDED to indicate adding something to the memory bank. Very nice.

jalubcarrey avatar General Stranger

August 08, 2008

jalubcarrey Prolific-icon-medium

REVIEW QUALITY: 0.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
jalubcarrey reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

Ah, I see the acrostic, but I cannot suggest anything of value here.  Good job.

black_neon avatar General Stranger

August 06, 2008

black_neon

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
black_neon reviewed Version 1 - Read 100% of the Item

You bring up a very extensive subject that has much to think about. You could even go into depth with a few more thinking about how we can imagine and space out ‘silence’ or ‘time’ in between events like during music or something of that nature.

Nice for the six words though.

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Footsteps avatar

Footsteps

Age: 67
Loc: Calverton, NY
Gen: M
Last Login: September 22
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