Poetry / 6 word memoir

The first two lines are in past tense, the last in present tense, that just doesn’t work.

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September 27, 2008

by anonymous

It works because it’s a memoir, the story of a life from the past, when I was not aware to the present, when I’m awake and can understand the world and its connection with me. Thanks for your review!

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Well…it’s one of those isn’t it.

It could be filled with all kinds of meaning…you could have been asleep regarding a situation..light dawned…and now you see the reality of the situation.

It could be you realised you was in love with someone…light dawned again…and now you realise that love.

It could be one of hundred things or it could be a joke…it could be lazy 6 words that you scribbled and stuck on here to see if some over eager reviewer would make audacious claims and reveal hidden depths that are not really there.

Either or really…but personally…I take it with a pinch of salt.

Story of my life, ha.
But it also seems symbolic to me.
I like the way you set it out. It reminds me of steps by the way it flows into the next line.It’s quite a cute layout actually. But yeah, it gives me the impression of someone ‘waking up’ to reality and realising that the life they’ve lived before wasn’t quite right and now they’re enlightened or aware or whatever.
I love this either way, the layout especially. It’s a neat layout.

As an individual statement it is ok but if you intend this for the 6-word memoir opportunity then I personally don’t think it fits the brief of “your life as a writer”. This is because it does not explain much about your creative process other than that perhaps you are more open to inspiration than you once were and I feel the same could be said about the majority of writers. I also feel that, as you are only allowed 6 words the ones you have chosen are a little weak and uncreative. As always this is only one person’s opinion and should be treated as such. I hope I haven’t offended you with this review, I could have taken this piece out of context.

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August 05, 2008

by anonymous

You didn’t offend at all. This actually is not about my creative life, but just about my life. I thought it could be interesting to write a memoir in just 6 words, I really didn’t care about the contest. This is just what I felt making the point of my life.
Thank you for your review.

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Observation is part of the creative life, but sleeping and waking up are givens in everyone’s world; and thus not that interesting for something as specific as a six-word story about the creative life.  

Past and present brought together in beautiful prose. I like this.

SMITH won’t like the form; they’re looking for a single line.  It also misses on the memoir component; too narrow and not enough meat.  Please don’t think I’m being harsh.  It’s only pop fiction.  What is it you saw – in six words.

i read ur 6 word piece that i really liked it. i liked how uput the words and how u made it short sweet and simply

Simple statement which causes forced labor until we are all worn out.  Even in sleep you see, so maybe a revision to add:  I slept, I dreamed, I see.  Some of the most profound creators created their best works while in sleep, they kept journals at their bedsides in order not to lose what they “saw”.
Your statement is accurate either way and very good.

I think this is the first one I’ve read that I like.  I’m not a monster; I just haven’t read very many.