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Short Story / So blind you can see...
Walking around blind with 20/20 vision
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XanderRiley reviewed Version 1 -
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Very clear, succinct, and to the point. Also, very true. The only reason I deducted a point from the rating is the “20/20” – personally, I don’t consider that a single word. I may be wrong, so please don’t be upset.
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jhmckeogh reviewed Version 1 -
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well, you kind of cheat the word limit with the 20/20, but i’m fine with it. Didn’t love “walking around” i think you can use those two words a little more productively.
jadedpoet reviewed Version 1 -
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Hi there,
I think you have actually captured the majority of the masses, living their lives so encapsulated the see nothing of reality. Such genious behind the thought process of this quote. me…
AlexSDS reviewed Version 1 -
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This actually makes perfect sense and I think it describes a good majority of people in the world right now. This totally works and the statement is clear (at least for those with their eyes open). Good job!
sjvance reviewed Version 1 -
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I love it! So many in society are “blind” to what goes on around them. This is deep, thoughtful, original and creative. Good job.
dylanmatthews reviewed Version 1 -
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It is an interesting concept. I would have liked to see it deal with being blind and hindsight but this works well.
10pfrw06 reviewed Version 1 -
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How true this really is. We can be so wrapped up into our own life’s, that we don’t see what is truly in front of us.
MichaelDark reviewed Version 1 -
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Oh boy.
Ummm…..
Yep.
wether it’s the ‘awareness’ that our eyes view only maya or that we sometimes trudge through a tick-tock existence, I agree.
You’re pretty good at this.
A bit of humor?
“NURSE RATCHET! I WANT MY CIGARETTES!”
drbailey reviewed Version 1 -
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Dear Stranger,
These six word pieces keep coming up for my review… so i’ll try and be helpful.
This is a line that contains a contradiction and applies that contradiction as though logical. The image that becomes presented is that of a man acting blind though he, and those around him, know his eyes are perfectly able to see.
The second thought I get from reading this is related to Hinduism. Hindus believe that life is an illusion, called Maya, and that we stumble around in it.
Some ways to play with this:
Get rid of the ‘around’. For example: walking blind with _ _ vision. Not sure if this makes sense, but it makes the action more immediate in my mind. One combination I can think of is Walking blind with near perfect vision. Or, add a word to the end to imply a trip or fall or stumble.
I hope something here is helpful in your six word process. Its a difficult thing to critique with any real substance.
Stay cool,
D.R.
P.S. You do make sense while being profound, however.
WanderingVerse reviewed Version 1 -
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A very good piece. Contains so much truth in just six word. It is thought provoking and highlights one of the main problems in modern socialty. Complete, simple and to the point. Well written.
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