Journal, Diary, & Blogging / 8-4-08...again

I’ve recovered from the scare eariler…

In a way. But seriously, I hope this doesn’t keep happening…I hope that I don’t trigger it that often…its scary. I don’t want to go through it again.

But anyways…yeah, he danced around the right wording…but he is thinking about killing himself….because she is falling away from him and is disappointed in him..and it is eating away at him. I imagine it is a very similar feeling to what I’m going through, just different motives.

I’m scared.

For him. And for everyone else…for myself.

I can’t let this happen. I can’t even be a bystander…I have to DO SOMETHING. I don’t know what. Because the truth is that she doesn’t love him. And he loves her. Its inevitable. They won’t be together forever and that is what is killing him. Because…he loves her. So its not like I could even patch their relationship up if that was in my power. Its supposed to end. So what do I do to help him through it? Hell if I know.

I did tell him shortly after that he could talk to me anytime he needed someone…that that is practically what I do…listen to people. Have one-on-one’s. Be there. Which is more than true. And he responded by talking to me more…opening up a little bit. He was instantly more comfortable around me, if that is possible. I could tell a difference. But he hasn’t mentioned anything TOO personal around me.. I hope he’ll think about coming to me first before he does something irrational…

I need him…this is so stupid…I wish I would fall for someone a little more reachable.

In a twilight like relationship, I’ve realized…to my surprise…that I am infact the Jacob in their lives. Well, besides the fact that “Bella” doesn’t even WANT “Edward” anymore.

So yeah, I’m confused.

“I believe in you. I’ll give up everything just to find you. I have to be with you. To live. To breathe. You’re taking over me.”

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