Damn your comments were funny, I like them better than some of mine.
Humor/Satire / Mazzogatti (Analysis)
Steve Mazzagatti is a ref for UFC and IFL and a few other MMA events, and he is by far the worst ever.
I despise him because he makes bad calls, dangerous calls and is overall just a bad ref.
My reasons are many so I have listed them here.
1 Brock lesner fight, horrible call Mir should have lost but Steve screwed it up.
2. the recent fight with A Johnson, where he was poked in the eye three times and when it finally hurt him soo badly he couldnt go on. What does Steve Mazzagatti do now? He gives the win to the other guy who just broke the rules.
3. He had a horrible mustache that looked very pedophile like.
(THe following are not proven but Steve has never said they werent true)
4.Steve Mazzagatti double dips on party platters.
5. Steve Mazzagatti: drops the F-bomb in front of preschoolers.
6. Steve Mazzagatti: uses expired coupouns whenever possible.
7. Steve Mazzagatti: tips at 8% or less, always.
8. Steve Mazzagatti hates children and puppies.
9. Steve Mazzagatti talks on his cell in movies theaters.
10. Steve Mazzagatti shouts out the punchline to every joke.
11. Steve Mazzagatti doesnt believe the holocaust happened.
12. Steve Mazzagatti never recycles ever, in fact he empties his neighbors recycling into the garbage.
13. Steve Mazzagatti speeds at 100mph in school zones.
14. Steve Mazzagatti gives bad directions on purpose.
15. Steve Mazzagatti picks all the oreo chunks out of the cookies and cream ice cream, leaving a mushy vanilla for everyone else.
16. Steve Mazzagatti sings the lyrics wrong really loud.
17. Steve Mazzagatti is a mouth breather.
18. Steve Mazzagatti never picks up after his dog.
19. Steve Mazzagatti wears white after labor day.
20. Steve Mazzagatti never uses his blinkers.
21. He drinks milk from the carton no matter where hes at.
22. He still plays ‘super bass tapes’ in his car to annoy everyone around him.
23.
He refers to himself as ’ the Steveanator’
24. He once poured sugar in my gastank while burning an american flag.
25. He is penpals with Osama Bin Laden.
26. He cuts in line at Disney.
27. Steve takes peoples lightbulbs from thier bathroom, as a joke.
28. Steve once talked to a guy who was friends with some other guy who was a murderer. Concincidence? You be the judge.
29. Steve cuts down trees on arbor day.
30.
Steve drives a hummer just to waste gas
31. Steve parks in handicap spot with no permit.
31. Steve eats all the M&M’s out of trail mix.
32. Steve enters the special olymiics so he can win.
33. Steve slips the girls the tongue when practicing cpr.
34. Steve goes through the communion line twice to avoid having to go out to eat later.
35. Steve thought Battlefield Earth was an awesome movie.
36. Steve is a volunteer meder maid because he thinks it fun.
37. Steve knows what crop circles mean, but he wont tell anyone.
38. Steve dresses up as Santa at christmas only to pull off the beard and hat and ruin kids belief that santa existis, he does it the same thing with the easter bunny, tooth fairy, and Chanukah Harry.
39. Steve gives Brussel sprouts and Artichoke hearts to trick or treaters.
40.
Steve went to Astronomy. com and bought as many stars as he could and named them all derivatives of “Stevanator; Stevo, Stevester…”
41. Steve Magzzatti, scalps expired tickets at sporting events.
42. Steve wears Yellow to funerals.
43. Steve blocks every channel on his kids TV except for Home shopping network.
44. If Steve gets hold of your cell phone he we will change your default language to Arabic.
45. He blows out the birthdays candles on other peoples cakes before the song is even done.
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CloClo reviewed Version 1 -
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I think really you need to know who this Steve Magzzatti bloke is before this becomes as funny as the potential allows it. Saying that, I did find this quite funny ‘33. Steve slips the girls the tongue when practicing cpr.’ I think that is mainly because this Steve man sounds a bit of a pervert and therefore makes me giggle with the thought of him adding tounge to the CPR procdure.
As well, I think this would be alot funnier if read outloud, obviously that is not a choice here on Urbis, but definitly try that to see what reactions you will get if you are really interested on the content.
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eqquesz reviewed Version 1 -
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The steve list sounds like a lot of people.
Shesaurus reviewed Version 1 -
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Haha this was hilarious. ”Enters special olympics because he will win I always wondered if there is any meaning to the crop circles. Great laughs, thanks!
snarfus reviewed Version 1 -
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It’s a little flat. I think you should go in-depth more in the first part, make it more over the top. As for the second bit, they seem like warmed over Chuck Norris bits, and not particularly inspired at that. Some of the truly brilliant Chuck Norris facts take a common phrase and twist it. My favorite: “When you look behind you and see only one set of footprints, that was when Chuck carried you.”
I’ve some suggestions for other lines to get you brainstorming….
“Steve probably thinks that song is about him.”
“Steve’s favorite director? Uwe Boll.”
“Steve criticized the end of ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’, saying the Grinch had ‘sold out’.”
“10 cents out of every dollar spent on evil goes towards Steve’s pension.”
“Steve only wants to save baby seals because if they become extinct, then what will he eat for breakfast?”
Hopefully these might help you come up with some more clever lines.
tarleisio reviewed Version 1 -
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I’m not quite sure how to review this, since I’m not a sports fan by any stretch of any imagination. However, a review is a review is a – you get the idea.
The idea I certainly get is that we’re dealing with, not to put too fine a shine on it, “Human Scumbag, Exhibit A: Steve Mazzagotti”.
OK. Let’s overlook the fact that I have not the foggiest notion who he is, apart from some “ref”, the Seriously Effed Up variety. Let’s overlook, also, that nothing in this supposedly humorous litany of his many sins and shortcomings elucidates that further. After reading it, I still have no idea who this guy is, apart from the obvious Human Scumbag.
It would help your intention, I think, if you’d made that a tad clearer to those of us who don’t watch ESPN. Generally speaking, as a writer, you have to tell your reader everything, or else state somewhere that this is a “inside” joke comprehensible only to other insiders. Otherwise, it spoils your purpose – and confuses the reader.
This is supposed to be funny. It might be, to those in the know, but as for the rest of us, I’m not so sure. A good deal of the list is something that could, so far as I can tell, be applied to anyone in the Human Scumbag category. You seem to have overlooked, in your heated fervor to lambast this miserable excuse in human entomology, what, precisely makes this guy uniquely scummy, and so – the jokes fall slightly flat, and there’s no laughing gas in sight.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not out to slaughter your words and howl your shortcomings to the sky. This is not, in any way, personal. You wanted to know whether it was funny, and at least ti this reviewer, it’s not, alas.
Not least because I have not a clue as to who the louse even is.
But I do know that he is one! ;-)
Which is where you did succeed.
Now, back to the keyboard, and blow me away! I’m sure of one thing – that you can!
Fido reviewed Version 1 -
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Hey, sorry it took me so long.
I don’t watch UFC so I can’t really relate to this but that doesn’t in any way mean that I couldn’t enjoy it. I found my self giggling and belly-laughing the whole way through this thing and you definitely created a very accurate portrait of “THAT guy” with this.
-Fido
Johnsienoel reviewed Version 1 -
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As an American reviewer this piece doesn’t resonate as humorous, so I would imagine target readership will be important. I am assuming he is a soccer ref? Americans view sports differently and most wouldn’t be able to tell you anything about the referees…
Does the list need to be so long to get the point across? It is like a joke that is taking too long to tell once the punch line arrives it is no longer funny. It could be cut down to maybe a Top Ten list.
I can’t say that 1 of the 45 elicited even a chuckle but if I had to choose based on creativity and avoiding cliche these would be the top 10:
45, 44, 43, 39, 31, 29, 15, 10, 8 and 3 (but change it to Steve wears a porn-stache)
FrakKevin reviewed Version 1 -
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This is odd, because I like it. It starts out based on this real guy and your dislikes for him. Now I dont know if all of these things are true then it convert into this kind of fictional story. Was this funny overall YES, because as I kept reading I rolled my eyes thinking to myself I hate this guy he’s so annoying. I also thought some of the things you made up about him were unique like number 44 and number 30.
Marat reviewed Version 1 -
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HAHAHA yea he is a bad ref man. Mabey thats why were seeing flux in the refs for the UFC. Very Comical i enjoyed reading this , almost like one of the chuck norris joke lists. Idd love to see some more or your writing in this style.
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