Non-fiction / Billy's New Hit Single!

I had just registered for my first semester freshman classes. The orientation took as long as most work days. The second we all crossed the street, walked up into the building we were lectured in for hours earlier in the day & picked up my ID, I was home free.

“I like your headband.” a voice from my side went through my ear and into my ego. She was a cutie.

“Why thanks, apparently they threw them out for free at Pitchfork. I didn’t go, but my friend got me one.” I can’t take a compliment. The head band was a white strip that advertised “Loser!” on it.

“Yeah I am not one for festivals, it is just too goddamn hot at those things and I hate sweat.” She had a nice disposition and was quite interesting. I hadn’t seen her the whole day.

“Yeah some of the bands were pretty good this year though.” I was testing her musical IQ.

“Mhmm, I would have gone to Animal Collective.”
Score one for her, above average.

“I really like Boris.” Let’s see if she is qualified for Advanced Placement.

“Mhmmmm!” She nodded with her lips pursed as one of her eyes was seductively closed more than the other.

“How about Lollapalooza?”

“No, even more money for even less bands.” I really don’t like Lollapalooza. “At school when the line up first was released, as an April Fools joke someone photo shopped Hannah Montana as one of the headliners.”

“I SO! Would have gone if I knew she was going to play!”

We were both laughing now.

“If Hannah Montana really was on the bill I could picture Billy Corgan jumping out when the curtain drops and surprising everybody.” Pitiful joke I stole from a friend.

“Really? Do you like the Smashing Pumpkins?”

“A little, yeah, not really no.” I was shaky and sounded like musical elitist I am.

“You do.” she replied with a somber tone.

Now I try to bounce as the comeback kid. Watch and learn.

“If I ever saw him on the street or pumping gas I would walk right up to him and straight to his face and tell him, “Hey I have heard you’re a huge ass hole!” Everybody knows he’s a dick head… Right?

“He’s not.” She sounded serious, I messed this one up.

“Really? I have heard that he’s a huge asshole from everybody I know.” Both my parents are lawyers that was a crappy defense.

“No, I know him; he is actually very shy and keeps to himself. He’s really not.”

I had blown it all.

“I won’t lie to you, I would at least want to try and get him mad so he would punch me in the face, and I’d get such a great story out of it!”

“He wouldn’t do that, he’s all into Christ and Buddha.”

“Shit, well there goes my dream.”

We laughed some more and said our goodbyes.

Her name was Sabrina; she told me that her mother wrote books about being psychic or something. She told me in order to be original that I should write about how cool it is to be me. So I took her advice.

I felt like an asshole and that Billy Corgan had punched me by turning the other cheek.

Guess it made for a better story.

You need to log in to urbis or create an urbis account to review this writing.