Journal, Diary, & Blogging / The Entry Full of Promise of Redemption Quotes

“I know that it’s not the first time
That I have been confused with my life.”

I’m trying really hard. I’m going to do this. I’m going to get over this.

“Knowing what is it all about. And when I hit this dead end can I just turn it around?
But this is the very first time…
That I have been afraid to go home
In fear that I might fall apart…
From this foreign feeling that I’m completely alone.”

I’m sick of giving into this. Well, not really giving in. More like not being strong enough.

“Cause these days are so long. And these drinks are so tall. And I’ve been spending my time counting the minutes just to feel consistent.”

If only he would just love me back. That would make everything perfect. But I can deal with this. I can deal with this… I can deal with this…..

“It’s hard to believe. Much of anything these days. Everything falls, all around you, what can you say. When all of the words that float so easily just won’t come. Its hard to believe that my whole body could feel this numb.”

If he asks me one more time how much she really loves him…and I have to tell him one more time…I don’t know if I can keep doing this. Its so hard to block this out when its right in front of my face all of the time.

“Cause the summer made me wonder what the hell am I doing here?”

This is so stupid. Why now. Why am I dealing with this. I can’t sleep anymore. I can’t focus on anything. I’m completely screwed up…imbalanced.  

“AND I’VE BEEN WAKING UP AT NIGHT BESIDE THIS NERVOUS TICK.

CAUSE I JUST DON’T KNOW IF ITS POSSIBLE TO GET THROUGH THIS.”

But I think I can do it. I really do. I have to get over him. I have to force myself out of these stupid rut that I’m stuck in. I have to. I can’t live like this. I’m losing life anymore. I don’t even feel alive…

“It’s hard to figure out just what I should do now. Cause this world is about to change. Doctors didn’t say why….if we love…we die. This world is about to change. I MISS YOUR VOICE RIGHT NOW. ITS HARD TO FIGURE HOW MY WORLD IS ABOUT TO CHANGE…”

He’s leaving soon. Within the next week and a half. And that’s my cue. I have to be ready to be over this. I need to be over this. I need to be over him. I can’t take this.

“I miss you here. Tonight its clear that the lights don’t shine as bright. And all this change. Just love to pain… so far now I’ll close my eyes. And I’ll dream these nights away…...... close your eyes…..let the song take you away…..”

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