Poetry / Slight of Hand (Analysis)

Thanks for the review and for typo help.  I’ve read this so many times and didn’t even notice, because i know what it’s supposed to say.  Thanks!

J. Humiston

I think that i can avoid taking ‘rough’ out if i break up the line.. end a lifeboat, and then the rest one line down.  reading it aloud, it sounds better to be, the rhythm, with rough included.  Thanks for the suggestion though!

I am glad that you think that the ‘behind’ in the last line brings it to an end, because that was what i was doing for.  I would like the poem to have an end, because, like the subject of the poem, there is something to be said for simple things, with straightforward ends.

The spacing is more to help the reader read it as i would aloud, because all of my pieces are meant to be read aloud, but I am now thinking ‘bout leavin’ this one as it is, ‘cause it should be simple, should it not?  

Thanks for the great review.  I could really tell that you spent some time on it, and i really love that!   Great suggestions!

Thanks!
J. Humiston

Thanks for the review!  Yeah, i wasn’t sure about the slight vs sleight, but gramaticly speaking they both work.  i’ll wait and see if anyone else makes a comment on it before i change it.  Also, i played with the ‘for’ before simple things, and decided it wasn’t needed.  but maybe i’m wrong?  heh.  

Also, do you think that it should be “something to be said FOR kisses” or “ABOUT kisses..”  I’m not sure which one i like best, though i’m leaning toward for.  

Thanks for the Review!
the fact that you disagree and still thought it was oik means a lot to me!

J. Humiston

I like “for” better; it has one less syllable.

Hey thanks for the review… but, one question, as i posed in the reviewer notes… do you think it should be ‘something to be said FOR’ or ‘something to be said ABOUT’ kisses that were never anything but kisses?

Thanks for reading!
J. Humiston

Either one, It’s your choice:)I tried them both. I liked about.

cool, thanks