Poetry / untitled

You were crazy

And I was beautiful

And way back then

We could do no wrong.

We spun and spun in

Perfect circles,

Our fingers twisted in fleshy knots

And after a while

The world turned blurry

And I forgot if we were turning

Or if it was

Because the beat it kept

Matched my heart

As you spun me faster and faster

Loving the cool wind on my face

And in my hair,

Praying we’d never stop.

But the ground wore tired

Beneath our feet

And our hands grew

sweaty and unsure.

Feeling you slipping from my grasp,

My skirt around my hips

With head held high,

I screamed so you would not

Hear the clean break when

My spirit hit the ground.

But way back then

It did not matter

Because I was crazy

And you were beautiful.

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sapphiresunbeam avatar General Stranger

February 10, 2006

sapphiresunbeam

REVIEW QUALITY: 100.0%(1 vote ) personal info reviewer stats
sapphiresunbeam reviewed Version 1 - Read 100%% of the Item

Ah! That has so much potential – it totally moved me. You could improve it by tightening it up a bit. I became bored for brief, fleeting moments, and then it would capture me again. but i loved the two main lines, and the “matched my heart.” I was turned off by the “fleshy knots” though.

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mkl61981 avatar

mkl61981

Age: 28
Loc: Birmingham, AL
Gen: F
Last Login: March 21
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