Poetry / Music (Analysis)

This is something I didn’t have to think about it
This is something I felt…
The feelings brought imagery
The room turned dim, but in a comforting way
I LOVED: “I turned to you…as I always turn to you”
I felt the comfort of habit regardless of whether the feelings that habit invoked was a bittersweet mixture of loneliness & solitude
But my favorite was the end-I felt appeased
It was real

I have no idea why your first stanza and the repetition of the phrase, “Every night. Every night.” reminded me of Virginia Woolf, but it did, and I guess that’s a compliment.

I would, however, omit the repetition of “How is it that these words”. I know that there was a purpose to repeating them, but even that purpose seems unnecessary at this point. I think the agony of silence comes through without it.

Your last stanza struck me as a little cliché, or perhaps just a little purple and melodramatic.
Otherwise, I think you have the bones of something pretty good here. Keep working on it.

I like the message and the tone I sense here, but your tone is not very strong.  For this sort of poem, your lines seem to break at the wrong points; there’s not a lot of flow that I picked up on, and that may be creating a lot of static which keeps the real message from coming through as powerfully as it should.  Your language is dry, and for a piece about music it would do well to experiment with phrasing, wording, and rhyming to make it seem melodic, harmonic, etc.  Try to match the style with the topic (the topic itself being very good.)  Overall it was an enjoyable poem with loads of potential.  Keep it up

The title could have been better, i thought you could have done something more elaborate for such a beautiful poem. also it is very simple but very powerful at the same time. the beat is a bit in shamble as you start of with 3 lines, after one  line and then with a block, was it in purpose? Maybe you should have a break after “evening”. your strongest line are  the last 3 lines.

aww now that was really sweet! i loved it. i didnt see a thing wrong with it. wonderful wonderful wonderful job.

I like it but it almost seems as if its not quite done… I would love to read more of it.

i like that this created a clear scene. i feel like i know/understand the poet. that being said, something about it that i can’t quite put my finger on bothered me. i want to say that it had a cliche feel to it, but the only thing i can point to directly are the last three lines.

and i LOVE lines 12 through 16.

Short, simple, and to the point;I like that.
I don’t see a reason to repeat “Every night” it really doesn’t add anything to the poem.

The whole poem was good. I liked the word choice and all the analogies, the last stanza was the best part by far,
“You are the blood
that gives melody
To the rhythm of my heart.”

That’s wonderful. Great job.

Thanks for the read.

Wow. That was actually a really interesting, different sort of poem. Very nice, very personal. It was the candlelit dinner of poems, if you will. It seems, however, that the reader is an eavesdropper on someone having an impassioned arguement in the next room over. It’s almost like the reader doesn’t know the whole story, which may be the point, but it’s hard to infer, I find.